Words of Affirmation: A Universal Self-Love Language
You may have heard of the theory that speaking positively to your plants encourages them to grow bigger and stronger. Many plant lovers have found this to be true, myself included. But upon speaking negatively to plants, they tend to shrivel up, and shrink in on themselves. The truth is, humans have never been very different from this.
At a recent market in which I had a booth at, I was seated next to a girl’s booth who sold an assortment of funky earrings and vintage clothing. I thought she was cool from the moment I saw her. As the market went on, we made small talk—commenting on someone’s outfit, how cool everyone looked, what coffee she was drinking, where she allocated most of her jewelry and clothing, how long we’ve both been selling, and on and on. Eventually, I walked to the front of her booth to take a look at earrings and buy some for myself. I complimented her talent and her handiwork, and ended up purchasing three earrings. As we chatted, she suddenly said, “I’m so glad my booth ended up next to yours—I could sense just, like, such a warm energy from you the moment you sat down.”
To no exaggeration, I nearly teared up. It was such an affirming thing to hear from a stranger, which I told her. “Every morning, when I’m doing my skincare routine, I use words of affirmation on myself,” I said, “and one of the main things I say repeatedly is, ‘I have wonderful energy, and everyone can see it the moment I walk into a room.’”
I’ve never thought of myself to be the type of person who can light up a room—but I wanted to be one, so badly. I recently picked up affirmations on a self-care journey to improve myself through things I haven’t tried before. I always wanted to try affirmations in the mirror, but felt silly, even though no one was around. I would psych myself out—“This is kinda weird, isn’t it? It’s silly, right? If someone saw me doing this, they’d think I’m crazy, wouldn’t they?”—but I managed to get over my fears when I realized that this is for my own betterment, and it’s something I don’t need anyone’s permission for. Self-care doesn’t have to be “cool”. It doesn’t need to be Instagram or TikTok worthy; it just has to work for you.
It can be intimidating to pick up a new self-care method, especially one that’s often dismissed as woo-woo behavior and hippie BS. But I’ve found that words of affirmation are truly a universal self-love language, and its positive influences are endless. Here’s how I got comfortable with my positive self-talk:
Rip the band-aid off. Yes, you’re going to feel silly and a bit dumb. But you’re going to keep feeling that way until you start doing it, and begin to get used to it. When you’ve been single for a long time and you finally start going on dates again, you feel clumsy and out of balance. But once you get used to striking up a conversation and looking your date in the eye, you feel powerful. The same applies for affirmations.
Do something else at the same time. I find that I get bored if I just stand in front of my mirror to say my affirmations. I also feel even more awkward—I never know what to do with my hands. So instead, in the morning while I wash my face and do my makeup, I say my affirmations at the same time. I apply my Cerave sunscreen and say, “I am beautiful. I am loved. I am full of energy. I am ready to take on the day.”
Begin and end every session with “I love you.” Let’s say you’re lucky enough to wake up every morning next to the love of your life. You roll over in your bed only to find them there, sleeping peacefully, their eyelashes fluttering slightly at whatever dream they’re having. If you’re head over heels for them, you’re likely to want to tell them you love them every chance you get. And now, that chance is here, in front of you. It’s cheesy, but what if you could be the love of your own life? What if you roll out of bed, look in the mirror, and say “I love you”? What if, on your way out the door, you give yourself one last look and say it again?
Affirmations aren’t a flu shot you can take and suddenly be immune to all negative self-talk and criticism. It’s more of a vitamin—taking it daily helps you feel better and better about yourself over time, helps build up an immunity to the self-hatred you may be used to feeling. And eventually, when you look at your own reflection in the morning, you find yourself smiling.
Strike Out,
Written by: Paula Macena
Edited by: Jane Dodge
Graphic by: Gus Gaston
