What Turning 20 Has Taught Me
I turned 20 this year. Most ages come and go, memorialized only through whispers of blissful and painful memories. It isn’t until we're at the precipice of a new decade that we yearn for years lost or, as I did, plunge into a chasmic sense of disorientation on a Wednesday afternoon.
Because turning 20 forces us to confront how far we’ve come before we’re launched into adulthood: What have we learned? How do we define ourselves?
Image Courtesy: Pinterest
Gazing at the woman in the bathroom mirror, 20-year-old me looks no different than 14-year-old me, but the very fabric of their logic and reasoning are wholly incomparable. However, my teenage experiences have informed my present mentality, although the passing of time has distracted me from realizing my evolution.
Thus, in an attempt to venture into a new decade with a fortified understanding of myself and my wants and needs, I have outlined the most impactful lessons I’ve learned throughout my teenage years.
1. Bend your knees.
This isn’t just about my stiff knees but also my self-imposed standards to achieve and maintain a perfect version of myself. Falling short of these expectations led to breakdowns that dully concluded with indifferent comments from friends. Ultimately, I realized that mistakes are unavoidable and found peace in being a little awkward, embarrassing myself and asking for help. Everyone else is too busy worrying about their mistakes to think about yours.
Image Courtesy: Pinterest
2. Let go of the balloons, and don’t watch them leave.
Clinging to bad memories can be detrimental for us. My obsession with avoiding reruns of bad memories often stunted me from staying true to myself in fear of being disliked or inconveniencing others. Coupled with defining my worth based on how happy I made others, I felt I had lost myself. These challenging moments should be opportunities to emerge as better versions of ourselves rather than subjecting ourselves to eternal repentance. In other words, live and learn.
3. Perhaps the roots should be pulled.
If you’re anything like me, the “family always stick together” principle is deeply embedded in your culture. It’s why I felt guilty announcing to my parents that I wanted to attend a university five hours away from home, and the happiness I feel while away from home deepens the cut. But family doesn’t have to remain physically together to be together. It shouldn’t prevent us from venturing into the world to discover other opportunities and experiences, strengthen our self-understanding and develop our independence.
Image Courtesy: Pinterest
4. Humans love obsession because it fuels purpose.
If anything got teenage me out of bed every morning, it was my obsessions. My first teenage obsession focused on a boy band; all of the symptoms, including the endless daydreams about dating my favorite member, were present. But even the thought of watching content or listening to their new music after school was enough reason to get through the day. Then came the class crushes that fueled my commitment to conjuring the best outfit combinations possible. But who cares? Just like my friend said the other day, “Sometimes we need a class crush to get us through the semester.”
5. Find happiness in what is certain, even if what is certain is not permanent.
To my great disappointment, destiny is an unpredictable force. It has no rhythm or rhyme. For example, friends and lovers can come and go for reasons as simple as “It just wasn’t meant to be.” Yet, we cannot live in fear of these possibilities. It’s important to savor these connections and the positive emotions we feel as they come rather than concentrating on the ending. I’ve been lucky to meet wonderful people throughout my teenhood, some still in my life and some not, and I’m thankful for those connections.
Image Courtesy: Pinterest
A lot more learning awaits me. My twenties, thirties and forties will present their unique problems. The problems won’t get any smoother, either. However, learning from them can get easier by being conscious of our growth and being patient with ourselves.
And while you’re at it, make sure to enjoy life.
Strike out,
Writer: Daniella Alfonso
Editor: Denisa Fluturas
Graphic: Anabel Dent
Gainesville
