Growing Together
We are told that isolating and becoming selfish is the way to heal and work on ourselves. Stick to yourself. Don’t allow anyone back into your life until you’ve worked on yourself. The only person you should give loyalty to is yourself. Dealing with any type of situation that requires you to heal and grow inevitably will become a challenge. Growth is uncomfortable, and the lessons presented from being hurt and growing make the process even more painful.
Society urges us to find ourselves before doing anything else— before accomplishing anything. This creates the mindset that any meaningful relationships and achievements are contingent on the fact that we make a life disconnected from others. Connections soon become rewards to alleviate us from our starvation—accomplishments soon become dreams so palpable yet so inconceivable because there will always be something about ourselves that we must perfect. We carve out pieces of ourselves till there is nothing left but ashes of marble on the ground from the statue of progress that we wished to have before living again.
Let me be clear before I continue: there is nothing wrong with being alone; there is nothing wrong with taking time for yourself. However, isolating and depriving yourself of experiences beneficial to the soul in the name of “working on you” becomes an unhealthy lifestyle ridden with seclusion.
Why is it so unhealthy to create a life of separation? We are communal beings. It is printed within the fabric of our being that we live in fellowship with another- we mourn with others- we celebrate with others. We are given minds to empathize. We are given mouths to speak words of comfort. When words fail, we are given a shoulder for our neighbor to cry on as we watch their tears permeate the pores of our skin.
I have never learned any beneficial lessons from isolating myself. The only thing I learned from it was that seclusion is hurtful. I became fatigued from trying to do it all on my own; I became hopeless from holding my own hand for so long. I couldn’t drag myself out of my misery. The dirt kept on piling around my ankles, and soon it was up to my knees. The earthworms and tree roots closed in around me in my hole of solitude as my tears choked my screams.
It was only when I felt a hand grab mine that I knew we were meant to be in friendship with one another. Another touched my shoulder and pried me out of my hole as the roots entangled around my ankles withered away. We— you and I and everyone else on this earth—deserve the gentle touch of community as we grow. We bloom with others as we are tended to by our brothers and sisters. Valuable lessons are learned with one another, not by ourselves. And yes, there are times to be still and be alone; when that time is over, do not isolate- do not dig a hole. Lean into the community built for you. Find your people. If you have not found them yet, there will come a time when you do; your people are waiting on you. Our hearts yearn for the solace and peace instilled in fellowship.
Do not starve yourself of community in the name of society’s slithering advice.
Strike Out.
Writer: Katherine Stegall
Blog Editor: Sarah Singleton
Chattanooga
