Uncertainty, Hope and Cynical Optimism
Image Courtesy: Via Big Panda and Little Dragon by James Norbury
One day I was riding in a Lyft, sometime between 4 and 5 a.m., hence a prime moment for the driver to begin a conversation about the balance of life, evil, love, hope, light and darkness. As the sun awaited its 7:45 a.m. wake up call, I rode in the back of the unassuming SUV; it was eerily clean, as any Lyft is at those hours. The driver and I talked about love, how things never seem to form in the ways one would expect and how good and evil never end. It's a hopeless and sublime balance; evil chastises good, good revolts against evil; one chases the other, they dance in the ballroom of the cosmos, spinning and dipping together. Unsustainable and toxic, their tumultuous battle is not only expected, but inevitable.
A term I would like to pose is cynical optimism: an understanding that although the world is not perfect, inevitably grasping onto hope will lead to a net positive impact on the world — despite size or scope. I present this possibility not only due to the conversation I had that morning, but because of the many moments leading up to it as well. Though we all experience moments of knee jerk reactions to dive into cynicism, I believe it’s healthy to challenge our belief that cemented negative action by people is cemented action forever. Change, as minuscule as it can feel, is possible.
Image Courtesy: Via Pinterst, Peanuts by Charles Shulz
“But Michael,” the wary reader pragmatically said. “Isn’t that just realism? What’s this thing about anyway? You come in here and act all new age-y and expect us to just take that?” Well, thank you for asking. I think the distinction here is that I allow myself to dive into the romanticized reality I have built with the people around me, rather than giving up that romantic view when staring into the eyes of the great unknown. There’s a line between romantic and realistic that someone can walk; many of my favorite individuals do so. We can romanticize the future while preparing for it. We can set reasonable expectations without losing the sparks of a starry-eyed, innovation-loving and left-field individual. Balance, as the driver and I spoke about, seems to be the determining factor in this equation.
Now of course, I am not saying to not be conscious about climate change, questionable American politics or social injustice, but I am also not saying there is no solution to these things. At both the small levels and the largest stages, empathy and sympathy can be at play if we choose so. If you wish, interject the things you do, the people you talk to and the career you choose with empathy for the world and the things you feel like you have no control over. Although fleeting, there is great power in our existence. There is greatness in effort.
Via by @spaceheadtr through @libraries on Instagram
Through the rearview mirror of my ride, the driver spoke about light and darkness, the anxiety of the future and the ambiguity of the past. He said something along the lines of the past is purely filled with darkness, while the future has too much light and sound — that’s why we get anxiety. It's all about being present. We related on the idea of always rushing for the future and how with time, ironically, we could hopefully remedy this.
Behind the cynical optimist is presence. It is to zoom in and relish in the small interactions with your roommates or with the person you really truly admire. It is to enjoy a hot meal and to understand that beyond what seems mundane, there is a deep spirituality to what we call the “everyday.”
As I sat in that Lyft on my way back home, I realized that the conversation we were having was one of the most authentic and raw ones I’ve had with a stranger in a very long time. It was this feeling that although we won’t occupy this space for long, there was an important message and sentiment that I needed to learn.
Via @spaceheadtr on Instagram
Amongst the magnitude of the unknown, there is great power in knowing that my 4 a.m. confidant was also thinking similar things. Whether it was about the problems of that day, our families or what we were doing the following morning, there was a strange certainty that we shared. While we both knew that I would be dropped off before the dewey daylight of dawn, for a 7-minute car ride we found solace in our conversation. Although confused about where I stood in personal questions, I was certain there was another person asking related questions in another sterilized Lyft.
I got out of the car and knew that while I can’t be blindly optimistic, blazing the matches of hope through the gasoline of conversation created embers — which float in the dark and ignite the “everyday.” Despite my cynicism and my desire to divulge into patterns of harm, I am wishful that light floats, waiting to land on you. We just have to catch it.
Strike out,
Writer: Michael Angee
Editor: Olivia Hansen
Michael Angee is an Editorial Writer for Strike Magazine GNV. If he’s not occupied with writing for Strike or editing stories for The Alligator, you can find him overanalyzing music and annoying his friends with whatever piece of media he's made his personality at the moment. You can reach him on instagram @michael_angee or via email @michaelangee@ufl.edu.
