The Romance of Call Me By Your Name
“In real life, true endearment for a person is not outright stated but is instead found in moments shared in silence.” - Emily Braunstein
Luca Guadagnino’s Call Me By Your Name (2017) is a film adaptation of Andre Aciman’s 2007 novel, which is a melancholic romance that captures the beauty of falling in love in a vulnerable way.
Ideally, romance is limited to positive experiences. It is the exhilaration of meeting someone new and intertwining your hearts and minds together. There will always be the inevitable happy ending, offering us closure and contentment. Aciman’s story of Elio and Oliver’s relationship is the opposite of a conventional love story.
The majority of their love exists in the unspoken parts of their relationship. There is a mutual understanding and adoration for each other that is not directly shown to the audience. It is demonstrated by their body language and their connection to transcending words.
Image Courtesy: Instagram
The film holds a certain element not typically portrayed in a romance film. It captures the feeling of falling in love that a scripted, conventional love story cannot. In real life, true endearment for a person is not outright stated, but is instead found in moments shared in silence. Examples of this in the film include extended eye contact or the sharing of meaningful art and literature between characters.
One of the main themes that is overwhelming in this story is the feeling of longing. Longing for someone, even when they are directly in front of you, plays a major role in Elio and Oliver’s relationship. This is an incredibly specific feeling that can be intertwined with love and pain, which is difficult to portray. Guadagnino’s direction of the film uses techniques to make the viewer feel what it is like to long for someone with your entire being. The extended eye contact, often being one-sided, is a great example of this in Call Me By Your Name. This is exactly what developing feelings for someone is like, holding on to any insignificant moment. The silence that is used during their dialogue makes their connection very raw. The simple moments and dialogue they share are real, and it is enough.
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Elio’s words, “God, we wasted so many days”, seem to capture the idea of longing and that a romance can exist long before there is a signified relationship perfectly. Elio and Oliver have mutual feelings that exist in their unspoken behaviors. They continue to long for each other for almost the entirety of their summer spent together. This is when the bitter heartbreak comes in, the pain of wanting someone but not being able to have them. The story shows us the beauty in just longing and spending time loving someone from outside a relationship. Just the process of the two pining for each other captures the feeling of love, and their time together before being in a relationship is romance within itself.
Call Me By Your Name portrays love as being vulnerable. The process of falling in love is simultaneously the process of opening yourself up to someone else. This can be physical, emotional, and even spiritual. You can feel the endearment between Elio and Oliver, without words or declarations of love even needing to be spoken.
This film captures the beauty of simply existing, as Elio and Oliver’s summers are filled with literature, art, nature, and history. Their summer in northern Italy is spent outside reading novels, writing, biking, and discussing anthropology with Elio’s father. The melancholy music that plays in the background acts as a contrast between the happiness of a new romance and that feeling of longing. These are the shots many people associate with the film. Guadagnino can capture life itself in a unique aesthetic.
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As the story closes, the audience is left with the question, “is it better to speak or to die?”. It leaves the viewer with a profound sense of uncertainty. The sadness of knowing that the right choice is not always the easiest, once again, is the reality of love.
The film's closing scene with Elio crying by the fire is an ending we can all relate to. A happy ending is not always a realistic one.
Strike Out,
Emily Braunstein
Saint Augustine
Editors: Maya Kayyal, Jessica Giraldo, Emmy Brutnell
Emily is a writer for Strike Magazine Saint Augustine. She is an avid yoga enthusiast that you can probably find at a coffee shop or the beach writing poetry. You can reach her on Instagram @emilyybraunstein or email her at emilyybraunstein@gmail.com.
