The Power of Letting Go of the Uncontrollable
Image Courtesy: Pinterest
From the time I was old enough to remember, I’ve always craved control. I was that kid who ran to take on the leadership position in a group project at school and the one to tell my friends exactly how to play with their dolls. As I grew older, I found that this urge for control was not only taking over my life, but it was inhibiting me from the freedom I so desperately wanted. Gone was the cute kid who was a little too bossy for her own good; in her place stood a micromanager who was terrified of things not going the way I wanted. It was on my journey of letting go that I realized a profound truth: although I can determine my own fate, I can’t control everything, and trying to be the puppeteer of everyone’s lives was doing more harm than good.
I began to notice some tell-tale signs that helped me recognize the issue of control in my life and do what needed to be done to remove it. Since I was young, I’ve been a perfectionist in many aspects of my life. Academically, any grade lower than an A would set off an internal alarm. In my pursuit of dance, I would not rest until I had mastered a certain dance move or technique perfectly. I vividly remember being ten years old, tears streaming down my face, filled with frustration because I couldn’t execute a backbend flawlessly.
Image Courtesy: Pinterest
Although some aspects of perfectionism are good forces for reaching your goals, setting both yourself and others at unattainable standards will only lead to disappointment. In most relationships of my life, I struggled heavily with uncertainty. Not being able to predict one's behavior would send me into spirals of overthinking and anxiety. I was hit with the harsh reality that I couldn’t control what people did. It was an incredibly hard pill to swallow, but one that made me aware that something needed to change.
As human beings, we all harbor a fear of the unknown, along with an innate urge to be in control. But the shift that occurs when we let go of the reigns is something truly transformative. It is a powerful thing to realize that what people do isn’t up to you– it opens the doors for so much personal growth and healing.
Image Courtesy: Uproxx
Since relinquishing control, I have seen a complete transformation in my life. I’m no longer perpetually in a state of anxiety about losing control and can fully understand the notion that someone’s actions are a reflection of themselves, not of me. Pain, fear, and hurt are inevitable feelings that come with being human; rather than running from them, I’ve learned to acknowledge that they are not fixed emotions.
My obsession with controlling everything in my life had caused me to forget how to truly live. This feeling that I was just a passive tool in the game of life left me dissatisfied and seeking control. However, since letting go, I have so much more room to be free and excited for the unexpected.
Strike Out,
Writer: Isabella Santiago
Editor: Cristina Angee
Tallahassee