The 10th Circle of Hell is a Crush on Your Boy Best Friend
There are several rules in life that a girl should follow: always have chapstick on you, keep a little black dress in your wardrobe, and never fall in love with your guy best friend.
I have to put the emphasis on the word never, unless, of course, you enjoy going through the nine circles of hell and the five stages of grief. What is it about your guy best friend that is so appealing anyway? They’ve probably done enough weird things around you to give you the ick, and they probably know you a little too well. But maybe that is what is attractive about the whole idea. It’s easy–you two have become so close it feels like you know everything about them; you can pick up on slight changes in their behavior, you know their favorite restaurants, the kind of music they like–and if you guys are close enough, they know these things about you too. Nothing feels forced; you can just truly be yourself because you're not putting any expectations and hopes on the relationship–until you do…that’s when things start a slippery slope.
Maybe it’s the proximity, or maybe it’s the comfort, but for whatever reason, you are now tripping and stumbling over a guy you’ve known for a while. You start overanalyzing everything: did he mean to brush my hand like that? Is he inviting me over to spend more quality time with me? Did he ask me out for drinks as a date or as a friend?
And don’t sell yourself short. Crushes normally don’t happen completely unjustified. There is usually at least a little hint that the guy likes you too. Maybe he talks to his friends about you or hypes up your Instagram posts. Maybe you guys do things together all the time, and it already feels like a relationship. And boys, be honest, you know you all flirt with your girl friends a little more than you should. If you have no interest, romantically, that is, then stop acting like it. You’re confusing us. It does take two to tango. But now you’re in some murky waters. Having a crush on your guy best friend pretty much means two things: either your crush is justified, and he likes you too, or the friendship that you two have built is on thin ice.
Confessing your feelings could make things weird; what if he rejects you? Are you supposed to just walk away unscathed by rejection simply because he’s your friend? Suppressing your feelings isn’t any easier; you feel like you’re holding a secret from the one person you could once tell everything to, not to mention wondering what you two could be will eat you alive and keep you up at night.
The most dangerous part about developing a crush on your guy bff is the confirmation bias. It’s easy to convince yourself that he actually does like you, and you can start taking things out of context or blowing them out of proportion. You start looking for excuses to feed your hypothesis of a relationship together and possibly ignoring other signs that could give you a clearer message. It’s important to remember that communication and honesty are key. As your new crush was your friend, to begin with, you have to try and put everything in a friendship-level context. That can get hard when you can truly picture yourself with him. I mean, come on, who else would you be with? If you already go out on “dates” or share secrets and inside jokes with each other, it isn’t that far of a jump to picture you two together.
If you’re experiencing a crush on your guy best friend, I only have two things to say: good luck and Godspeed. My advice would be to let some time pass before you go, possibly jeopardizing the friendship you have. Sometimes, a crush is just developed from proximity and frequently spending time with each other. If you’re lucky, those feelings may pass. If you’re unlucky and caught up on this guy after some time, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to say something. Rejection is possible and likely, but you miss 100% of the shots you don't take; it’s up to you to decide if you can deal with missing.
Strike out,
Haley Dockendorff
Boca Raton
Haley Dockendorff is a Content Writer for Strike Magazine Boca. Loud and proud, this Virgo loves writing just about anything that will cause a bit of commotion. If you can’t find her, she’s probably somewhere on a beach with a camera in hand. You can reach her at haleydockendorff143@gmail.com
