Sorry To Disappoint, I Am In Fact Like Other Girls
I can't count the number of times I've been met with bristled attitudes and snarky comments upon the discovery that I, an apparent 500 Days of Summer-esque "manic pixie dream girl" with Nu-Metal playing in her headphones, also has Sabrina Carpenter on her playlist.
Such instances are treated like a grand betrayal, some treacherous breach of a contract that was never agreed to. These moments serve as cognitive dissonance, interrupting the inaccurate caricature others have created of me based on the mere fact that I wear black.
This experience is shared by nearly all women who stray from conventional styling choices and speaks to a key issue in modern dating.
Perhaps this has some underlying correlation with the numerous titles and boxes people create online, with multitudes of netizens begging some higher being to send them a "Deftones girlfriend" or a "hello kitty girlfriend" or an "alt baddie."
Whatever the cause, nothing seems to shock people more than when the eyeliner-donning girl they have been going out with expresses interest in a more "basic" subject.
When entering the dating pool, people of all genders and identities often seek out someone who fills the "partner" character they have created in their head. A "golden retriever boyfriend," an "emo girl," or a "rockstar girlfriend." We view each other through cheap Instagram snapshots and Snapchat profiles, never wanting to understand or get to know the person underneath the aesthetic. We develop an attraction toward people based on the false image of who we hope they are.
This results in us creating and falling in love with false images of people, inadvertently categorizing them in a box, assigning them certain features like they are a movie that needs a genre. We don't allow them to be themselves and flourish in all the contrasting facets that all humans contain and should be celebrated for. Instead, we shun and antagonize them for their complex human nature.
In a world of seemingly endless Tinder swipes and Bumble matches, it's easy to approach dating as less of a genuine human engagement and more of a proverbial shopping trip through the isles of possible romantic matches, browsing the numerous packages and wrappers and looking for just the one you want, then getting upset when you unwrap it for a bite and it doesn't taste how you thought it would.
But people are much more complex than that, and it is entirely unfair to ask someone to box themselves into the expectations and interests you have created for them.
It's not a betrayal for the goth girl you're dating to enjoy tanning and parties. It's not a betrayal for the sorority girl you're dating to listen to heavy metal.
People are so much more than their style or aesthetic. So next time you pursue a girl based on her black lipstick or eccentric taste in jewelry, don't be dismayed when she queues up Taylor Swift on the aux. After all, it's fun to be like other girls.
Strike Out,
Alara Ataman
Boca Raton
Alara Ataman is a Content Writer for Strike Magazine. An avid fan of fashion, this Pisces can be found scrolling through Depop or elbows deep in a thrift store, looking for the perfect piece. If you can't find her doing this, you may find her browsing numerous cafes in her endless quest for the perfect iced coffee. You can reach her at @leopard_fawn on most social media platforms.
