Sorry It Takes Me 5 Business Days to Respond

If you ask any of my friends what my biggest red flag is, they will all tell you in a heartbeat that I can not respond to any of my messages. It's a trait I am not at all proud of and causes many of my friends to get upset with me. If you ever go through my phone, you will find countless texts and emails that I have yet to read or open. It's not like I consciously chose to do this. I'm not trying to avoid my friends, and I don't answer to some while ignoring the rest. It's just something that I genuinely cannot control.

Many people will roll their eyes at the term "bad texters." How can you be a bad texter? Literally, all you have to do is reply. But no matter how many times I promise myself I'll get better at it and respond to the message as soon as I see it, a message is sent along the lines of "So sorry, just saw this!"

For the longest time, I thought this issue only pertained to me. But one day, while scrolling through TikTok, I realized 1) I am not alone and 2) it has a name: text anxiety. Texting anxiety is exactly what it sounds like– anxiety linked to texting on a smartphone or another smart device. It may manifest as physical symptoms, such as clammy hands and nervousness. 

So, what's the reason behind our behavior? In my case, it is because I get overwhelmed quickly. Let's say a few text messages start pouring in while I'm preoccupied with another task; since I lean towards compartmentalizing and dedicating my attention to my current task, I'll convince myself to address those messages once I've completed my work. And I may be partially right.

According to psychologist Elena Touroni, the founder of My Online Therapy, "It could be busy-ness or underlying anxieties that lead someone to be a bad replier." She says, "Sometimes it can also be about control – when we feel anxious and overwhelmed, we might try to take control of the situation, i.e., 'It's up to me when I get back to someone.' It's a way of avoiding the feeling of being coerced to engage with someone in moments we don't wish to."

So, how do we overcome this? While there are individuals gifted with the ability to effortlessly manage numerous tasks simultaneously, I'm confident that most of us have experienced a sense of being stressed by the many responsibilities expected of us. First, acknowledge that you may have this problem and understand it is completely valid. Second, if you're pressed for time, reply with a brief message indicating you'll provide a more detailed response later. This shows acknowledgment and buys you some time. And lastly, allocate specific times during the day to check and respond to messages. This could be in the morning, during breaks, or in the evening. Not only will this allow you to become a better texter, but it will also give you the added benefit of not feeling like you must reply immediately to messages.

Strike Out,

Anjali Kamath

Boca Raton 

Anjali Kamath is a Content Writer for Strike Magazine Boca. When she’s not belting her heart out on karaoke she’s either at the yoga studio or spending all her money. She’s a textbook Aries and a Diet Coke enthusiast. You can reach her at anjalikamath460@gmail.com