My Eyes are up Here
The eyes are the window to the soul, yet we tend to neglect them in basic conversation — likely out of subliminal insecurity. We crave so deeply to be seen, but fear the mere act of looking. While we may fall short in eye contact, we make up for it with our painful embodiment of irony. Is the fear of opening our eyes to one another rooted in the very fear of what it means to be truly seen?
The art of eye contact lies in the bed of connection; it is an underrated and generationally under-cultivated practice. Eyes convey messages that words can say, but will fail to elicit the same visceral reaction. Think of hearing "I love you" and how viscerally you experience it when you can see that they mean it, just by how their gaze meets yours.
Sincerity can be long forgotten in a conversation's lack of subtle bodily cues. That's why it can be reframed as an art form: conversation and eye contact are skills. Whether or not they come naturally could be indicative of the quality of conversation and connection, but that's for you to decide.
Rising studies from social neurologists measure synchrony in conversation and attribute conversational attunement to the "in-and-out" of such. The process of reconnecting throughout the conversation acts as a catalyst in fusing two minds rather than a hindrance. Meaning that breaking eye contact to explore a thought is not a threat to your confident persona. On the contrary, it will augment it. If eye contact were to remain unbroken, you may fear a psychopath is sitting across from you!
It acts in a similar fashion to many energy landscapes of our mind's design that have valleys and troughs, ins and outs, if you will. It speaks to our innate mechanisms of thinking and, subsequently, our ability to communicate in the non-verbal and verbal sense. Too much mirroring in conversation can weaken discussion and create an awkward feeling among participants. Maintaining poise, posture, and pointing your feet towards whom you're speaking with, etc., are subliminal lingual cues you can utilize to say more than words ever could.
The employment of body language is situational, depending on the setting and the people you encounter. Upon first introductions, maintaining strong eye contact while engaging in a firm handshake lays positive groundwork for the rest of the interaction.
The true art of conversation comes from gauging a sense of the other person and their comfort level, as well as the vulnerability required on our behalf to traverse true bonding. This renders you not only confident but in tune. Bodies speak a beautiful language that beckons a different kind of subtlety in terms of attention and retention.
To be loved is to be known, but to be known is to be seen. Open up the windows to your soul, and allow yourself to peer into someone else's. The view is unlike anything you've ever seen.
Strike Out,
Rosemary Aziz
Boca Raton
Rosemary Aziz is a Content Writer for Strike Magazine Boca. A health and wellness junkie who finds leisure in writing, all things coffee, and observing the human condition– but people-watching is better with friends. Or in her next article. You can reach her by email at r.m.aziz0204@gmail.com or on Instagram @rosemary.aziz.
