It’s Lonely At The Top

What qualities make a good leader? Someone who is organized, assertive, and dominant. Put these qualities in a man; everyone praises him for his leadership skills. Put these qualities in a woman; everyone calls them bossy, anal, or a b*tch. 

Women are stereotyped to be nurturing, forgiving, motherly, and communal figures. When a woman is more aggressive or (god forbid) sets stronger boundaries, society as a whole jerks their heads back in confusion. Things that are negative qualities for women to possess are things that society values in a “man.” There’s a double standard around gender in the workforce. Leaders are expected to be confident, assertive, intelligent, and exercise their authority. When we see a man do these things, there's no strange reaction because of the pre-existing ideas we share about males. When women who are leaders do this–it contradicts the pre-existing beliefs we hold about women.

Women leaders are expected to possess the qualities of a leader but deliver them in a kind, gentle, and supportive way, while men get away with acting tough because that is what we expect of them. In a study published by Skyline Group International, leaders were evaluated by other employees based on traits like confidence, emotional control, and entrepreneurship. The results? Female leaders were rated less effective than male leaders for 57% of those traits. It’s not only men who hold this negative connotation over female leaders–women also feel this way about their fellow women leaders. At 43% of the companies studied, only women rated other women as less effective. 

The bottom of the line is that it’s lonely at the top as a woman. Being a leader means possessing the traits that people do not like in a woman. It rubs them the wrong way. Turns them off. It breaks the barriers of the box they put women into. It’s also important to note that confidence fuels jealousy. It’s common for people to develop feelings of jealousy towards a successful woman, and jealousy can turn to hate. It can be challenging for female leaders to build friendships and relationships, because of society's adverse reactions to powerful women. 

This also can flip the other way: Queen Bee Syndrome, which refers to women who have succeeded in a male-dominated field, therefore thinking of themselves as superior and treating their female coworkers worse than males. Because of the workforce's competitiveness, women will hate on other women simply to get ahead–or because of their jealousy of their success. Behaviors like this can stem from a place of insecurity–women see other women succeeding and become envious of what they have. 

It’s not wrong to be assertive, decisive, and strong, despite what society may think. Being a leader requires confidence and skill, so don’t give those traits up to please anyone else. We all need to consciously break down our taught biases of gender in (and out) of the workforce. We need to come to a place where women can exist in a world where they don’t need to tear each other down in order to get ahead. 

Strike out, 

Haley Dockendorff 

Boca Raton

Haley Dockendorff is a Content Writer for Strike Magazine Boca. Loud and proud, this Virgo loves writing just about anything that will cause a bit of commotion. If you can’t find her, she’s probably somewhere on a beach with a camera in hand. You can reach her at haleydockendorff143@gmail.com