It's As If You're Here With Me
Have you ever caught yourself in a daydream, envisioning a perfect picture of someone convincing yourself this dream is reality? We are all guilty of this. But is this way of thinking harmful, or can it provide hope for the future?
Maladaptive daydreaming is a condition where an individual engages in vivid and immersive daydreaming, often taking them into an alternate dimension without regard for the world around them. Where maladaptive daydreaming differs from normal daydreaming lies within its harmfulness, with it being a compulsive habit that oftentimes harms your ability to engage in connections and relationships in front of you.
The most common form of maladaptive daydreaming involves envisioning a person you do not know very well, whether a crush, co-worker, or even a person you might want to be friends with, and painting a picture of them in your head. The problem is that we envision the perfect and flawless person without getting to know who they really are.
Since you have minimal interactions with these people, your mind will psychologically fill in the gaps, usually choosing to fill these gaps with the attributes and qualities we desire. As a result, you fall in love with someone who does not exist.
On a surface level, maladaptive daydreaming seems harmless. However, if and when you finally interact with this person in reality, the contrast between the imagined persona and their actual self can be jarring and disappointing. This can lead to feelings of frustration, confusion, and even resentment—toward both the person and yourself for believing in the illusion.
But let's take a different approach to maladaptive daydreaming. Is it really a harmful practice, or can it provide someone with hope?
There's nothing wrong with wishful thinking. While maladaptive daydreaming is viewed as a harmful practice and mindset, it also has the power to encompass hope and an envisionment for a better future. While avoiding reality is not a long-term solution, having a mental refuge can provide a sense of relief, allowing a person to recharge before facing challenges.
Many individuals use maladaptive daydreaming as a form of manifestation, hoping for a fulfilling future, whether it be longing for a particular relationship or maybe even a job.
I'll be honest: as a maladaptive daydreamer, I see both sides of the coin. While it has provided me with a temporary escape from reality, I can acknowledge the fact that I have convinced myself countless times that someone is who I dreamed them to be.
The practice of maladaptive daydreaming can be frightening. It's incredibly easy to leave the world's turmoil and escape into a reality that does not exist. I find myself getting lost in a world that feels real. I have seen firsthand potential relationships and friendships vanish in front of me by creating false expectations of these people.
Yet, when I close my eyes, I find myself saying, "It's as if you're here with me."
Strike Out,
Matthew Wolfe
Boca Raton
Matty Wolfe is a Content Writer for Strike Magazine Boca. As a lover of nature and the ocean, you can probably find him sunbathing at the beach or finding a new hiking trail. If you ever do find him inside, he'll be indulging in Lana Del Rey's discography or watching old Survivor seasons. You can reach him by email at mattheww0507@gmail.com or on Instagram @mattyywolfe.
