Breaking down “Weird Girl Syndrome”

Image Courtesy: Maura Rutledge

You’re four years old, refusing to leave the house without tights under your plaid shorts for the entire summer of 2007. You make friends with strangers at Chuck E. Cheese and carry the black-and-white grainy photo strips of people you will never see again in your pink Hello Kitty purse. You come up with games to play by yourself and think there is a small mouse gentleman hiding in the walls because a scuff mark on the yellow paint looks like the shoe print of a loafer. And every single day you check to see if your spin art has been featured on Noggin. It never is. 

You’re thirteen years old. You submerge yourself in fantasy worlds because you just can't process how your life has changed. You try to be cool, but you don’t know how to be cool. You wear a fez to school, and feel like an idiot. You become quiet. Reserved. Scared of people you grew up with. You stop being creative, stop being warm. 

You’re twenty-two, and suddenly you love yourself again. You are at peace with the world and love making friends. But deep down, those insecurities are still there. You spent so long feeling out of place and judged that now you can't understand how or why people like you. 

This is what I call Weird Girl Syndrome. 

Although it is nowhere close to a proper science, I feel like so many individuals suffer from this mindset. The transition from being outcasted to being celebrated for your uniqueness is difficult for the brain to comprehend, which is why I have taken the challenge of breaking it down. 

Why This Happens: 

In my personal experience, I was a very outgoing and headstrong child. I did what I wanted and liked what I liked. Everyone loved this about me and saw me as a natural leader. This was up until my teen years. A started to become conscious of the fact that things I loved were different than what my peers loved. I was not within the “popular” mindset. This made me unsure of myself and led to doubt about my appearance and personality. I received less male attention, which only heightened the fact that I felt out of place. Instead of trying to fit in, I just distanced myself and quietly enjoyed my interests. 

How It Affects You: 

It was not until my college years that I became aware of “Weird Girl Syndrome.” I started becoming very social again and more outspoken in social groups. And, to my surprise, I was accepted. But due to these habits from my teen years, I feel almost like an imposter, like I am once again trying to be interesting or cool, instead of just doing so. It is hard to process that I can be likeable as my core self. For me, this has heavily manifested in dating. Since it was so hard for me to feel loved, when I receive romantic attention I feel uncomfortable in a way. I feel like I owe the other person something simply for liking me. This also manifests in creating new friendships. I sometimes feel insecure around others becauseI feel that I am not as cool or unique as them. I have talked to many of my peers in the college student demographic, and they have expressed this same feeling of not understanding how or why they are liked. 

How to Overcome It: 

At this time in my life, I have not quite cracked the code to overcoming this. However, I have found tips to help me feel more secure in my genuineness and likability. 

1. Surrounding Yourself with Different Groups: 

This helps to remind myself that I can have successful interactions with people who are different from me. It also shows that my presence can be enjoyed by people who are not in my social group. 

2. Affirmations: 

Reminding yourself that you are cool, beautiful, interesting, pretty, likeable etc. can help you feel more rooted in your core self, and confident in your abilities. I practice verbal affirmations or write positive comments on my mirrors. 

3. Developing Authenticity: 

Creating a Pinterest board of styles or visuals that speak to you has helped me feel more authentic and less as if I am trying too hard to be myself. This also allows you to spend quiet time getting to know yourself and what you like. 

4. Spend Time Doing What Interests You: 

Joining clubs or groups with others that have similar interests as you allows you to celebrate your interest, but also connect with others who have the same hobbies as you. This can help you feel more confident in your abilities and interests. 

5. Taking Time to Reflect: 

Keeping a daily/weekly diary allows me to write down the activities and accomplishments I have during the week, and read over them to help maintain a more positive overall mindset. Reading over the fun activities you complete can offer security in your identity, and also encourage you to go out of your comfort zone more. 

At the end of the day, we are all unique in our own beautiful ways, and we should try to celebrate it each and every day. 

Strike Out, 

Maura Rutledge

Editor: Emily Copp

Athens