Having an Aesthetic is Overrated: Why I Gave Up Trying to Define My Style
Image Courtesy: Vice
Don’t get me wrong, I love a well put together inspo board, however, I have noticed a problematic trend arising, specifically from Tik Tok. More and more videos are trending under the “When you wanna look like this, but you also wanna look like this” sound. An increasing number of people are relating to these videos and expressing the desire to be this picture-perfect version of a specific style, such as dark academia, alt/goth, cottage core, or indie. It is impossible to obtain the aesthetic of the person we imagine wearing these clothes because this person does not exist. They are an idea we project our hopes and aspirations on to.
People are inherently romantic dreamers and will always imagine obtaining this golden hour filtered version of their lives. When we use concepts like these ‘aesthetics’ as our point of reference for obtaining those goals, we make it impossible to succeed. Life is never perfect, and by trying to make it perfect we leech away the freedom inherent to creating a life of contentment. The people we imagine having these aesthetics are fictitious caricatures created so social media can breed insecurity to profit from. There is nothing wrong with romanticizing a lifestyle; however, making these aesthetics goals to model your life and closet around is limiting. It keeps you from experimenting and discovering a whole other side of yourself. If you devote your time and money into becoming the epitome of an ‘alt girl’ then you may never realize how great you look and feel in other clothing.
Furthermore, people are not one-dimensional, as we often imagine these aesthetics being. People have a myriad of interests and emotions that will affect something as personal as their style. Clothing influences our day-to-day presence and even something as seemingly mundane as an aesthetic can shift the way you interact with life.
This might all seem very melodramatic, but nobody can deny the dangers of perfectionism. Perfectionism will wreck anyone’s self-esteem because perfection is unattainable and continuous failure in this pursuit is discouraging. By upholding this ideal you will constantly be battling with the reflection in the mirror and judging your fits on how well you match up with another person’s ideal rather than how well it expresses you. It’s important to note that there are people who really do exude an aesthetic, but if we were to make style choices based on what we think they would choose, we would never succeed at becoming them. This is because part of the success of those aesthetics are the personal liberties taken by the people wearing them. In other words, people we see as having these ‘perfect’ aesthetics are perceived as such because they pursued a projection of their true self rather than riffing off of someone else.
If you are dead set on having an aesthetic, make it yours. Seek an aesthetic that is entirely personal and filled with the clothes that bring you joy, and people will recognize your aesthetic as you. It is better to be known as someone who has impeccable personal style rather than someone who has replicated an aesthetic. If you experiment with your clothes and design choices, you leave yourself free and open to change which is one of the greatest ways to move through an imperfect world.
Aesthetic envy is a product of our oversaturated clothing market. Fashion is becoming less uniform and more styles are becoming acceptable. All these influences can be overwhelming, but when seen as a creative opportunity, we can celebrate personal style and individuality.
I’ve struggled trying to find my personal style a lot this year and I yearned to have a beautifully put together aesthetic, but I’ve come to the realization that that is not me. I’m mercurial and curious, constantly embracing new ideas and reframing my perspective. All kinds of clothes excite me, ranging from the perfect fit t-shirt to the most ludicrously printed blazer. My personal style might look like a mess right now, but that’s because it’s a reflection of me and I, myself, am a mess right now. I’m trying to discover myself in areas other than my appearance.
My style is representative of me because it’s filled with things that bring me joy and not solely dedicated to a trendy mood board. Despite the many phases of my style (considering I’m a fashion fanatic, believe me when I say there have been many), those closest to me are able to point out things I’d like while still being surprised by what I pick out for myself. This is what I’m defining as ‘style success’ in this season of life. The most we can hope for in life is continual growth, and our personal style should reflect this process. Let us discard alt, e-girl, indie, and cottage core and ignite the aesthetic of the self. By focusing on your own expression rather than working towards an image of ‘perfection,’, you will eventually create an aesthetic all your own.
Strike Out,
Writer: Kendal Cano
Athens