Coping with Being the Single Friend
Image Courtesy: Strike Magazine Tallahassee
This Sunday, I am going to brunch with four of my friends- well, two of my friends and both of their boyfriends.
I am no stranger to being the odd wheel out of a group of people, whether that makes me the third, fifth, or even seventh. Let’s be real- I usually have fun when I am the extra in a group, but it can be difficult to be the chronically single friend existing amidst a wide network of people deeply in love. Seeing people who are so happy together can make you crave that same kind of closeness, which is totally normal. Society’s branding of singles as lonely and inept doesn’t help much either.
Image Courtesy: Pinterest
Being single around so many couples also doesn’t get any easier when you read scary articles about how singlehood is a treacherous lifestyle to live. We’re told that it can lead to heart disease, depression, and early death- oh my! These supposed symptoms get even worse when your singlehood is involuntary, according to some studies.
Image Courtesy: BBC
There really shouldn’t be this much pressure to be in a relationship, especially for college students. Not to be totally cliché, but college is a time to explore your identity. While some people can do that just fine with a partner, others may need to figure themselves out on their own. Also, I’m nineteen. For me, and anyone in their twenties, there’s no reason to be stressing about if you’ll end up unmarried and alone on your deathbed. A few weeks ago, I visited a friend who had graduated, and she expressed fears of never getting married. She’s 22. We’re not in the Middle Ages anymore (thank God), where the average life expectancy is thirty-four, and women have to be married off at the age of fifteen, so no pressure! We all of plenty of time to find our people (and let’s be honest, your soul mate most likely is not living in Tallahassee, Florida). Even beyond college, being single also has some positive benefits: you’re more likely to exercise regularly, have more friends, and be less stressed about everyday life.
Coping with being around so many couples as a non-couple yourself becomes a lot easier when you remember that it’s not a condition to be cured or a problem to be solved. Being single can be a fun and exciting experience, especially in college. I often worry that people are judging me for not being in a relationship, but that is just not the case. No one cares about the things you do as much as you.
Image Courtesy: Pinterest
It’s valid to feel bad about not being in a relationship or wanting someone to spend time with, but you should not seek out a relationship for the wrong reasons of feeling embarrassed or not wanting to be the odd one out anymore. Just enjoy being single and independent.
Strike Out,
Writer: Lydia Coddington
Editor: Addy Crosby
Graphic Designer: Sydney Barrow
Tallahassee