Be my Valentine — From me to me

Image Courtesy: Instagram

‘Tis the season for romance, fancy dinners, and conversation hearts  — for some at least. As it is Valentine’s Day, I would like to talk about love — not with a romantic partner because I’m not in the place or mood to get into a romantic discourse. Between school, maintaining relationships with others, and a myriad of other factors we often find ourselves putting others’ (material things or people) happiness and needs before our own. As we go through this holiday that’s focused on external and romantic love, it’s crucial to check-in and reconnect with your inner self. Whether it be a breakup, mental health struggles or the overall dreariness of the lingering winter gloom; there may be a lapse in how connected you feel to your emotional world and if you are keeping up self care and love practices.  

I can’t write something on Valentine’s Day about caring for and loving yourself without talking about dating yourself, or more specifically the act of the “self-date.” Whether there is a new movie you want to see, a new restaurant you’ve been wanting to try or you just feel like doing something special; a self-date is the perfect moment to take care of yourself in a similar setting to how you would show care and compassion towards a significant other. I have found that a self-date is one of  the more fun parts of reconnecting with yourself and your emotions. My absolute favorite is those long dates that last all day; I’ll put a book and my journal in my bag, and just go for a neak   It’s an act that shows you are worth the special things in life — like wearing that perfect outfit for a day of errands or reading a book with a glass of wine at a bar. Not only are self-dates a way to show ourselves kindness, they can help with your confidence in being with yourself. No, you are not alone nor will anyone judge you for getting a table for one. It is actually one of the more empowering things you can do; treat yourself with the respect and love that you deserve and give to others. 

 For me, I fall in and out of caring and loving myself — over periods of weeks, days or even just minutes. But, I actively work on leveling that roller coaster out. Through therapy and just continuing to move through life, I’ve picked up some tricks and tools for the days when it feels hard to take yourself out. Small acts of self-compassion can be just as important for yourself. Self-reflection and journaling have become incredibly important for me — especially as a writer — to be able to think through my emotions and come to terms with them. It is a strategy that I will always talk up to my friends because I feel like I understand myself and how my heart works more so than ever. A key step to true love is understanding your partner (or yourself), and communication in any form can be crucial in that effort. 

We can't punish ourselves for not oozing self-love and confidence everyday; the only thing we can do is move forward and learn how to cope with the days that are tougher than others. However you plan on celebrating today, don’t overlook the small things that make you feel good. Buy those chocolates for yourself or take the extra time to pick out your favorite outfit — there is no reason to not do so. And for anyone feeling out of sorts? Breathe and remember that you are as deserving of your own love and happiness as anyone else. 

Strike Out,

Writer: Grace Donahue

Editor: Annika Chaves

Boston