Are You an Energy Vampire?

Image Courtesy: Pop Sugar

It’s true! Vampires are real and roam the world around us every day. The downside is they look nothing like a Cullen or a Salvatore, which pains me as much as it does you. While they still carry a charismatic, life-of-the-party personality, they have a massive victim complex and are probably huge liars. The main thing is that they are just ordinary-looking people you would probably pass on daily. But rather than being able to tell physically if you’ve encountered one by bite. On the other hand, your state of mind would have felt its mark without a doubt. Feeling all the life sucked out of you after every conversation with one. 

These are only some of the traits, but not all, of the characteristics of someone you may come across who is an “energy vampire.” Sometimes they’re your close friends, significant others, or even some of your parents– if I am being honest. 

In both the workplace and personally, we will have to deal with people that drain every positive vibe out of our bodies by opening their mouths to speak. I have dealt with them my whole life. So here’s my guide to spotting and preventing vampires from evaporating your good vibes. All while protecting ourselves from becoming one, here’s The Energy Vampire Diaries. 

“An energy vampire is somebody who zaps your energy dry,” Judith Orloff MD, a psychiatrist at the University of California-Los Angeles Psychiatric Faculty, told NBC news. While not clinically used, Mental health professionals have coined it to use on people who “feed on” or manipulate people who unintentionally give them the safe space to do so. With that being said,  If you are usually seen as the therapist of your friend group or the shoulder to lean on, energy vampires tend to be drawn toward you for your avid listening skills. They lean toward compassionate people who always try to see the good in the bad. Often they showcase overly dramatic, erratic thinking or behaviors. They always have to be the life of the party by going out clubbing five nights in a row and making you feel crappy for staying longer to study or being more introverted. There is a spectrum of energy vampires that tend to map up to personality disorders, from narcissistic and borderline personality disorders to straight-up psychopaths. While there is no exact chemical imbalance in the brain that diagnoses an “energy vampire,” these are usually the traits for the extreme ones. Often in friendships, they are always the ones coming to you to vent about their issues yet never return the favor. But you're seen as a bad guy when you decide to distance yourself from that person because of a one-sided friendship.

So you see, energy vampires are self-centered people manipulating you into negative thinking about your character. They can even make you sick. Energy Vampires can cause chronic stress, especially if they are someone you can’t avoid. Such as a spouse, a boss, or a parent. An individual constantly drains you while they project their gray aura onto your colorful one. This person is a walking stressor!  Often they know what they’re doing and continue to do it because it works. You continue to let them back into your life with no boundaries. It could be because you love them, or they’re just like family. That is no excuse to allow someone to lower your vibrations with their misguided soul. Eventually, as your positive energy dies, it will be replaced by the very negative energy that absorbed it in the first place. It is vital to protect your vibrations, so here’s how:

Cut them out of your life (if possible). If they aren’t someone you can avoid, like a family member or boss, cut them out of your life. There is no point in entertaining anyone who drags your mental health through the mud. 

Set boundaries. Know what activities work for your comfort level rather than in your safe space. Instead of inviting them to your home to speak, go to Starbucks or talk solely on the phone; that way, you can limit the time you spend with them.

Lower your expectations. If you are dealing with someone with narcissistic tendencies, know they will never feel empathy for you or your situation. Avoid bearing your traumas with someone to be disappointed with their lack of comfort or response. Don’t expect anything from them. 

Know the difference between “venting” and “dumping.” It’s normal to vent about how you feel. Energy vampires dump negative feelings and frustrations on others. Understanding the difference between venting and dumping is essential. Set your limits!

Don’t be afraid to say no. It’s okay not to stay on the phone for hours with an energy vampire when they're only talking about themselves. It’s okay to be naturally introverted even though you are shamed for having no friends. It is okay not to join someone on a club bender when trying to work on yourself. You can be loving and empathetic and stick up for yourself. There’s no fun in being a doormat!

Strike Out, 

Gael Laguerre 

Boca Raton

Gael Laguerre is the baddest writer for Strike Magazine Boca. She’s a textbook  Aquarius: super hyper-independent but also super hot. In her free time, she enjoys music festivals, writing sad poetry, and oversharing on twitter. You can reach her by lgaellynn@gmail.com or Instagram @gael.lynn