How ‘Well’ are wellness drinks? we tried 6 so you don’t have to
Image Courtesy: Strike Boca Raton
In writing this, I must confess that I am by no means an authoritative body when it comes to reviewing wellness drinks. To discuss wellness, I feel as if one must approach the venture with a mindset of experience, rather than simply seeking pleasure and pleasant taste. Despite that, however, I found my sampling of drinks to be an enlightening, amorous experience. I was introduced to a plethora of natural and formulated body supplements, such as kombucha, adaptogens, hemp, and something akin to battery acid (we’ll talk about that later). So, without further ado, here is my best (maybe) attempt at giving an honest, unbiased opinion on these so-called wellness drinks.
Pop & Bottle Mocha Oat Milk Latte
Image Courtesy: Pop & Bottle
Titled in tongue-twisting alliteration, this drink pleasantly surprised me with its smooth, sweet taste of coconut and dates. The latte is sugar-free and features a helpful dosage of Adaptogens, a calming cocktail of natural substances that stabilize the mind and promote overall homeostasis. As such, I found the drink promoting a subtle, calming head rush within. My heart rate was lowered and my breathing was far more calculated. To say it simply, I was introduced to a meditative state that transcended sleepiness to leave me feeling light and airy. Overall, I found the drink a delight to behold.
Matcha Bar Hustle Matcha Energy
Image Courtesy: Whole Foods Market
For me, matcha is far from a pleasant drink. I find the taste of it to be brash and chalky, much like that of a protein drink. I will admit, however, that this drink pleasantly surprised me. On the tongue, I sensed heavy hints of mint layered through with a subtle of tangy lime. Do not let the norms of matcha fool you, however, for this is not a coffee drink. No, this is matcha diluted into an energy drink, just without the questionable chemicals and additives. I felt a chill feel in my head with no sense of an overarching head rush. Overall, the Matcha Bar Hustle Matcha Energy drink is a great choice for anyone seeking a matcha drink, without the chalky aftertaste.
Rowdy Mermaid Organic Alpine Lavender Kombucha
Image Courtesy: BEVNET
With a name convoluted enough to come from a Walt Whitman poem, this drink gravely disappointed me. Unfortunately, I could not get behind the brash, sharp taste that comes with the kombucha additive. Yes, the drink did taste of pleasant flowers, but the kombucha tainted it, quite literally. I will confess in saying that the feeling brought by the drink was meditative, calming to say it simply, but the kombucha represented a terminal deal breaker in my case. As such, I can only recommend this drink to individuals that can stand the taste of acidic perfume.
Health-Ade Plus, in Happy
Image Courtesy: Health-Ade
Sad was the only phrase that came to mind while drinking this. Once again, the kombucha appeared as too much for me to handle. On the other hand, I will admit that this drink was far more palatable than the Rowdy Mermaid. The drink features an interesting mix of kombucha, tea, vanilla, and orange juice. As such, the drink was refreshing and tolerable to handle and I could feel the pheromones in my head pontificating, but I still could not overcome the chalky aftertaste of the kombucha.
Kin Euphorics
Image Courtesy: Proof No More
It is a disgrace that I had to endure this drink. At more than $40 for a pack of four, I began this drink with rather high expectations. However, I was left in a bitter disappointment, no an anger, over what I had been drinking. To be clear, this drink features a proprietary blend of perplexing chemicals, none of which were familiar enough for me to recite by memory. Furthermore, the back of the can is littered with warnings about the drink’s safety and side effects. Yes, I understand that many are excited to drink the euphoric tendencies of Bella Hadid, but I plead to you all that this drink is tainted far beyond its questionable ingredients. The taste was acidic, as if I was drinking air freshener or sodium pentothal. Please, for the love of God, avoid this drink at all costs and just settle for the kombucha.
Recess Infused Sparkling Water, in Coconut Lime
Image Courtesy: BEVNET
To end on a high note, I thought that I would review a drink that wouldn’t give you dementia 80 years down the line. The Recess coconut drink features a healthy serving of hemp, a form of CBD, which produces a relaxing, euphoric feeling. Personally, I loved this drink. The taste is rich without feeling the heavy burden of all of the added sugar. Additionally, the drink also features adaptogens, which create a calming feeling of homeostasis in the body. Overall, this is not a drink to avoid, for it splendors in all of its CBD goodness.
Strike Out,
Writer: Blake Von Tilzer
Graphic: Serena Bruno
Florida Atlantic University
