My Brother, You Are Scaring The Hoes
DISCLAIMER: STRIKE MAGAZINE DOES NOT ENCOURAGE OR CONDONE THE USE OF THE WORD “HOE.”
If you are not well-versed in internet slang, “scaring the hoes” is a phrase that became popular on Twitter to describe when a guy tells his guy friend “to stop doing things that are repelling to women.” Similar to what girls refer to as “an ick,” this phrase serves as a benchmark of what not to do if you want to make a good impression with the ladies. Although it is defined through acts that are “gravely serious,” I don’t always find this to be the case.
In the comical sense, “scaring the hoes” comes in the form of acts that leave the vibe awkward and stiff. One example is when a guy plays “underground” music that is an “acquired taste,” like Earl Sweatshirt or MF DOOM, with an immediate defense saying, “you don’t know about this.” Another example is when a guy starts info-dumping to his date about his niche and nerdy interests without ever stopping to take a breath and ask the girl about herself. As a guy myself, I can’t say that I’m innocent from committing these scenarios. I mean, the inspiration came from somewhere, but I can say that there isn’t any mal-intent. Actions like these are usually a result of nerves and wanting to be well-received. I feel like everyone can relate to that.
However, there are more serious actions that are harder to be conscious of. Specifically in male groups, the unspoken sense of competition amongst men is a natural trait that can fester into toxic masculinity. Things like seeing who can shotgun a beer the fastest or lift the heaviest weights are all markers of masculinity. Men will weaponize these things against each other when it proves useful in social settings. If your homie tries to embarrass you in front of the ladies, he may not be your homie. In a skit by internet comedian Druski, he showcases the exact behavior I’m trying to explain.
Actions like these are almost always rooted in insecurity. It’s a very immature behavior that mimics the elementary school thought process: “if I bully somebody else, then I won’t get bullied.” Instead of trying to gas each other and praise their homies, some men will jab each other in front of women to make themselves look better. Newsflash fellas, you’re just making yourself look bad, and you’re scaring the chicks.
Situations like these are annoying and embarrassing, but it’s nothing that can’t be remedied with a conversation. It’s not an easy conversation to have since you’re basically calling your homeboy out on cringey behavior. Still, a true friend will hear you out and put themselves in your shoes.
Although there are some actions that are redeemable, there are plenty that are not. Being awkward is okay and being insecure is okay too, but being a misogynist and a creep, is not. If you have a friend that makes you worry about how they are going to treat women in social settings, then maybe it's time you evaluate the value of that friendship. You don’t want to be the guy who brought the guy that’s scaring the girls. It’s important to be aware of the company you keep because being closely associated with someone who’s a walking red flag will only tarnish your reputation.
Strike Out,
Jon-David Delcastillo
Boca Raton
JD Delcastillo is a Content Writer for Strike Magazine. He loves consuming media and thinking critically. A major know-it-all, anything related to pop culture, music, and sports, he has knowledge in. Reach out to him on instagram @jd.delcastillo or email @ jd.delcastillo954@gmail.com