Why is Hookup Culture THE Culture?
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Remember when love was all about handwritten letters, long walks, and slow dances in the rain? We grew up watching movies like The Notebook that glorified yearning, deep connections, and grand romantic gestures. But now? The closest thing to romance we experience is a guy liking our Instagram story. Seriously—this is what we've settled for. Expressing genuine feelings or wanting something more than a casual hookup is now considered "too much." How did we get here?
Hookup culture is built on the idea of physical connection without emotional attachment. Unlike in the past, when romantic pursuits involved meaningful conversations and deliberate effort, today's interactions often prioritize convenience and detachment over depth. People engage in intimacy without expectation, treating romantic encounters as fleeting rather than foundational. At some point, dating culture stopped being about intentionality and started revolving around convenience.
So, what changed?
Throughout the years, society has unintentionally made the romantic scene not so romantic. From the moment we were children, we were exposed to this dreamlike version of love. Fairy tales painted pictures of knights in shining armor, grand gestures, and love that defied all odds. We believed in the pumpkin carriage, the genie, and the flying carpet. But as we grew up, society convinced us that romance—just like a fairy godmother—was nothing more than a fantasy. It wasn’t that romance disappeared; we were conditioned to think it wasn’t real.
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The Shift: From Romance to Hookup Culture
Technology & Social Media: Dating apps and social media have made meeting people easier than ever, but they’ve also made relationships feel disposable. Why put in effort when there’s always another option, one swipe away?
Casual Culture in Media: TV shows and music have normalized the idea that hookups are the default and anything beyond that is rare. Being "chill" is praised, while catching feelings is seen as a liability.
Fear of Vulnerability: Many people avoid deep emotional investment because they fear rejection or heartbreak. It’s easier to keep things surface-level than to risk getting hurt.
Redefining Priorities: With career goals, personal growth, and self-care taking center stage, long-term relationships aren’t always the focus. Commitment is often seen as limiting rather than fulfilling.
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Why Is Effort Now Too Much?
The normalization of hookup culture has made emotional detachment the default. In the past, romantic gestures—like asking someone’s parents for permission to court them or writing heartfelt letters—were expected. Today, openly expressing interest can be seen as too forward or intense. The expectation has shifted from commitment to casual, where avoiding attachment is the safest bet. Somehow, putting effort into dating has become an exaggerated gesture. Asking someone on an actual date apparently implies serious intentions, which many aren’t ready for—or at least, that’s the assumption. But why?
Avoiding Labels: Many people prefer to keep things ambiguous, fearing the pressure that comes with defining a relationship.
Instant Gratification: Why plan a date when you can just send a late-night “wyd?” text and get the same results?
The Power Struggle: The person who cares less holds the power, so showing effort or interest is often equated with “losing” in modern dating.
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Can We Bring Romance Back?
The question is, are we moving toward a future where genuine effort in relationships becomes a rarity? Not necessarily. If enough people challenge the norm, choosing real connection over convenience, the culture can shift. It starts with…
Raising Standards: Stop settling for breadcrumbs of attention and start expecting real effort.
Being Intentional: If you want a real relationship, make it known. The right person will appreciate clarity, not run from it.
Embracing Vulnerability: It’s okay to care. It’s okay to want something real. That’s not a weakness—it’s a strength.
Romance isn’t a fairytale—it’s a choice. The bare minimum shouldn’t feel like a luxury. Love isn’t dead, it’s just buried under layers of "chill" and commitment-phobia.
It’s time to start digging it back up.
Strike Out,
Writer: Camila Alvarez
Editor: Dani Hernandez
Tallahassee