Why Confidence is Literally Everything
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If I asked a room full of people what “confidence” meant to them, I would get a room full of different (and uniquely personal) answers. So, let’s start with a dictionary definition:
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“Confidence (noun):
Belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.”
The reason a room full of people would all give different definitions is that confidence looks different to everyone, and it looks different to everyone.
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When I think of everyday examples of confidence, I think of women who embrace their sexuality. I think of fabulously eccentric fashion. I think of talking to strangers, trying to make new friends, and shooting my shot with an attractive person. When I asked my beloved editor, Addy, what confidence looked like to her, she mentioned spending the summer in a new city by herself. She also mentioned having an active social life full of genuine friends who included and supported her. That conversation opened my eyes to an important realization: our respective perceptions of confidence are rooted in our perceptions of our own limitations (our self-limiting beliefs).
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Think about it. When you think of confidence, you probably think of people who do things that you believe to be challenging. This can be the examples above, but it can also be striving for your dream career, giving a presentation, trying a new hobby, eating meals alone in public, setting boundaries, and so on. There are infinite ways to think about confidence, because to some extent, everything we do requires confidence.
Confidence is that little voice in your head that says, “I can do this.” And you can! I am a firm believer that to get what we want out of life, we have to be confident. There’s no way to achieve your dreams if you’re not confident in admitting they’re your dreams, confident in planning their achievement, confident in taking the necessary steps to get there, and confident in accepting your worthiness of being the person who actualized them. Confidence pushes you to see yourself as someone capable of doing whatever it is you want to do. Because believe it or not, you can do anything – as long as you’re confident.
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Confidence is also an energy. You know it when you see it; some people just exude confidence. I think of superstars like Nicki Minaj, Megan Thee Stallion, and Lady Gaga. I think of rock stars like Mick Jagger and Robert Plant. I think of pop culture icons like the Kardashians. These are people whose confidence has created their success, and in turn, their success perpetuates more confidence. It’s a cycle, a self-fulfilling prophecy. It doesn’t just come out of nowhere; confident people are confident on purpose. These people make the conscious decision to believe they are worthy of getting what they want in life. When they exude confident energy, they attract pretty much everything they want, because they make the conscious decision to believe they are worthy of getting it, and to go after it. Being confident is a cheat code, the first step to customizing this life to be exactly how you want it to be.
Growing up, my dance teachers always told me to “fake it ‘til you make it.” I didn’t understand the phrase at the time, but I recognize now how important that mentality is. Other people can’t tell if your confidence is real or fake, but they can tell how you carry yourself, the conviction in your voice, and your determination to get what you want.
Confidence is the energy that allows us to manifest our favorite version of ourselves.
Once I started visualizing the person I wanted to become, walking and talking like her, and having the guts to go after the things she ideally had, my life started to change. By faking it ‘til I make it, I continually prove to myself that this idealized, confident version of myself actually can and does exist. It has been a lifelong journey of learning to accept myself the way I am, speak kindly to myself, and grow my confidence from within. Sure, I have setbacks pretty much every week, and there will always be insecurities to overcome, but the things I have overcome are greater. Outside all my struggles (or perhaps born from them), I can look within myself and recognize confidence that is continuously growing. It’s an energy I feel within me, and energy I intentionally put out into the world. I am confident with intention, I am confident on purpose, and I am confident because there are so many younger versions of myself who would be overcome with pride at how far I’ve come.
The bottom line is: confidence can take you as far as you want it to, and as far as you let it.
Image Courtesy: “Conversation with Myself” by Louisa Renee Choi via Instagram
A lot of these ideas stem from Jen Sincero’s You Are a Badass, a self-help book that truly changed my life, and which I cannot recommend enough. They also come from the innumerable conversations I’ve had with my closest friends and family members, whom I cannot thank enough for being in my life!
If you’re reading this and you want to be more confident: you are your favorite version of yourself, you just have to fake it ‘til you make it and take the necessary steps towards becoming that person.
Strike Out,
Writer: Cristina Angee
Editor: Addy Crosby
Graphic Designer: Sam Lawless
Tallahassee