What I Wish I’d Known: A Reflection of the Past
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Recently, my problems have felt like “end all be alls.” Because I can’t choose a major, I’m never going to find a job. Because I’m single, I’m never going to find love again. Because I’m struggling to settle in, I’ll never find peace in Athens, Georgia.
To soothe my outrageous assumptions, I looked to those that have stepped in my shoes. I interviewed four separate college graduates from older generations who have felt what I’m feeling and lived to tell the tale. By asking them to reflect on their own college experiences, I realized that most of my concerns have been felt by generations before me. The advice they shared not only cleared my head, but also served as a way for them to reflect on the people they were before.
If you could go back in time, what would you tell yourself?
All the people I spoke to chose to anonymously share their words of wisdom.
Here’s what they would say to their college selves:
Dear Past Self: You aren’t the only one struggling with change.
“[College] was a difficult transition. I was very scared. I was very nervous. I was an extremely shy kid and an extremely shy person so being out on my own in such a large environment, I was terrified.”
When asked about college, most people say it was the best years of their lives. However, sometimes it isn’t that easy. Transitions and change are processed differently by everyone. Being left to explore the world completely on your own can be terrifying. It is okay if it’s harder for you to adjust than the people around you. No one works on the same timeline.
Dear Past Self: It’s okay to not know.
“Picking my major was a tough decision. I didn’t declare until the end of my sophomore year. But I would tell myself, You don’t have to know right away what you want to do with your life. It’ll all workout.”
Most people don’t know what the hell they want to do with their life at 18. You don’t have to know what you want to do right away either. Your passions, ambitions and goals change with time. Follow your heart and you’ll eventually end up where you belong. It’ll all workout.
Dear Past Self: Go for what you want and change yourself for no one.
“You do not change yourself for any mans. Ever. You want to find someone who makes you a better version of yourself. If there’s someone that you wanna say, hey, I wanna go get together. I wanna take you out. I wanna do this, I wanna do that. You do it! You are a woman, hear me roar, you do not need the man to ask!”
Just do it! I think there’s something to say about going with your gut. Don’t be afraid to demand what you want, push yourself out of your comfort zone and grab life by the horns. In this instance, ask the boy out! Who needs to wait around for life to get fun. We have the power to drive our own stories.
Dear Past Self: Be bold. Be ambitious. Prioritize yourself.
“I’d probably tell myself not to get so caught up in everything everyone else is doing. Work hard, have fun and make friends. Do the best you can every day and if it doesn’t go your way pick yourself up and start all over again. Don’t be so afraid of what everyone else thinks around you.”
If you are doing what is best for you, who cares what anyone else thinks? You only live one life. Try not to get so wrapped up in the small stresses and focus on the bigger picture. Work hard and have fun!
It is safe to say, my collection of conversations left me feeling a lot more hopeful. Listening to their advice to their past selves served as a cautionary tale. As always, it showed me that everything always works out in the end. Other people have gotten through the stress of the college transition (whether that’s entering or exiting) and so can you.
Strike Out,
Ruby Gagnon
Editor: Caroline Kostuch