What Each Euphoria Character Would Taste Like
Euphoria: the cultural reset of our generation. The fashion, the cinematography, the old folksy music – the show’s grasp is tight around our necks even after the second season’s conclusion. Go to any bar downtown and you will see endless recreations of Maddy’s season two party scene fit (shoutout I.Am.Gia). It’s safe to say that we have all been influenced.
What Euphoria provided us with that no one ever talks about, though, is a group of incredibly imperfect main characters that you still rooted for in the end. They were damaged, cruel, sneaky, but most importantly, authentic. It was almost like every intrusive thought you’d ever had was being streamed live on your TV, giving you reassurance that it is more than acceptable to be complicated and nuanced because you can’t get much more complicated or nuanced than Nate Jacobs (or Cal – you really can’t).
These characters, as damaged as they may be, give us a plethora of people to identify with as we watch the insane plot twists unravel. While rewatching season two with my roommate, we found ourselves relating to the characters and debating their flaws, leading us eventually to a much stranger question – if you were to bite into each character, what would they taste like? Not only did this discussion cause the most intense debates between my friend group, it also provided us a spot-on method for analyzing the ins and outs of the characters. So I am here to share with you the Euphoria menu we all have agreed upon. Warning: the following dishes may not pair delectably, but they will definitely give your taste-buds a journey.
Cassie
Courtesy of HBO
Ever since Cassie’s introduction, an innocent, childish persona was shoved down our throats. The pastel color palette, dewy makeup, breathy voice and aloof attitude make her seem blameless and incapable of harm But that is quickly disproven in the second season with her betrayal towards Maddy. I am convinced that biting into Cassie would taste like a pink frosted animal cracker. The sweet and cutesy outer coating diverts your attention from the actually quite bitter taste of the cracker that lies beneath. Animal crackers are also a common school lunch necessity, aligning perfectly with Cassie’s maturity level.
Maddy
Courtesy of HBO
The firecracker attitude portrayed by Maddy is undeniably iconic. Her devious dimple smile is devastating, as is her bad bitch energy and striking style. The strong winged eyeliner is the perfect embodiment of her personality. However, this aura of self-love and dominance does not saturate her character completely – deep down, we see through her relationship with Nate and friendship with Cassie that she is a vulnerable, tender, loving character that longs for someone to care for her in the way she cares for others. Maddy would taste like a cherry Warhead; sour and severe on the outside but sweet and fragile once broken down. Not to mention the sensuality factor given Maddy’s female-fatale status.
Nate
Courtesy of HBO
Nate. Where to even begin with Nate. As one of the most controversial characters in the series, it would have been easy to assign him something bitter and offensive (gasoline, possibly?). But I am on a mission to attempt to actually understand these characters and their flaws. No judgment here! His obsession with appearing as an all-American, clean-cut athlete contradicts his aggressive and deviant behaviors, especially those caused by the trauma he has endured at the hands of his father. When tasting Nate Jacobs, he would invoke black coffee with a dash of sugar. He would never admit to anyone that he actually likes sugar in his coffee -he has repressed that desire his entire life- but adding it to his coffee gives him a dose of his desires while still keeping his stone-cold reputation. The best of both worlds!
Rue
Courtesy of HBO
Being the protagonist of the show, Rue’s psyche has been deeply divulged into. We have seen her in love, heartbroken, psychologically challenged, in recovery and in just about every other state imaginable. Through every stage, though, she has stayed true to herself. She is defiant to trends, withstands from drama (even though she incidentally causes a great deal of it) and continues to be unapologetically Rue. Unhindered independence paired with a longing for comfort causes internal turmoil for her throughout the show. These factors, paired with her retro vibe, lead to her tasting like a menthol Juul pod. She is too unique to be a food item but too classic to be any other flavor pod, and her constant struggle with substances must infiltrate her palette, too.
Jules
Courtesy of HBO
From the first glimpse we get of Jule’s personality, we are alerted right away that she is unlike anyone else. The scene at McKay’s party where Jules cuts her own arm to threaten Nate shows us that she is insanely ballsy and unpredictable. Doing this all while dressed in her ripped fishnet stockings and bubblegum pink hair creates a stark contrast between her demeanor and appearance, creating a perplexing persona. Biting into Jules would taste like strawberry PopRocks – sweet, unique, and full of surprises.
The Rest of East Highland
Euphoria is unique in that there are countless main characters. If I had room on the menu to share the entirety of the cast’s flavors, I would, but a sampling must suffice. Cal would be a sawdust covered gas station hot dog, Fezco a Slim Jim, Lexi an herbal tea and Kat would burn like Pink Whitney – you can guess why.
Assembling these items together becomes a sort of offbeat Thanksgiving dinner – maybe animal crackers and Slim Jims are a bit of an awkward pairing. But the beauty of Euphoria is that all of these different characters can all exist simultaneously, feeding off one another while still remaining true to themselves. The show gave a space for troubled characters to be portrayed in their most vulnerable, authentic states, saving “perfect” characters for cable television and basic foods for family dinners.
Strike Out,
Writer: Olivia Evans
Editor: Kate Corcoran
Gainesville
