Watch What You Say To Girls
Girlhood: Tailored and fabricated by the hands of time and the people who walked along those lines with us. Who braided our hair, held our hand, and squeezed it twice before all the big milestones; that’s what made us girls.
Girlhood: Fractured and tainted by the words of people who thought they knew a little more than we did. Who commented on our waists, bras, and shorts. We were just girls when we became hypervigilant about our existence and every ounce of space we took up. We were hardly out of our leading strings before it became so apparent that onlookers viewed our flesh as a shared domain. Some were invited to our Thanksgiving’s, others to the playground. We played finger guns but didn't make a sound– maybe we should have.
Two sides of the same coin, the coin toss is what made us girls.
As early as a few months old, children form basic comprehension, assigning meaning to words. From that point on, people continue to do that for the rest of their lives. When you’re young, you are a sponge of libel and fact alike, incredibly hard to differentiate until your frontal lobe has sought further development. It leaves you constantly tipping the scale of which words hold the most weight. The kids at school aren’t always kind, and girls never forget. Words leave imprints and impressions that can last a lifetime. You didn’t forget when the fifth-grade boys made fun of your belly. You didn’t forget when your elders told you to lay off the dip. Now your self-image is tainted, all for careless words that should hold no weight.
When you're young, who you’re surrounded with is like a looking glass into projections. Sometimes, those holding it are irresponsible with its fragility, fracturing your reflection. Breathe because it is just your reflection that’s been fractured and tantalized, not you. Reflections and self-image are constantly being reworked by our perception. Mirrors don’t lie, but reflections do. It is up to the eye of the beholder.
That being said, internalizing comments made by uncles that suggest you seem to have lost weight or your top is busty is a surefire way for cracks to develop in your mirror. The little boys on the playground pointing out your acne or arm hair is traumatic when you’ve yet to establish firm confidence. This confidence can take a lifetime to build because it is always being faced with adversity.
Fear not because it is when you’re at your weakest that you will find your strength. But especially as a young girl, it is isolating and uncomfortable. Heat and redness travel to your cheeks, and you just want to bury your face in the nearest pillow. It induces anxiety to the nth degree.
Though, you begin to notice that no matter what you look like no one is biting their tongue. It’s ironic; this flow of respect or lack thereof. Uncles say the first thing that comes to mind, and you have bite marks around the edges of your tongue. They’ve started to blister. I know. Reclaiming this forsaken hierarchy of inappropriate commentary is to heal cuts that go more than skin deep. When no one watches what they say to girls, we’re left picking up the pieces of our mirage.
Family members play an integral part in how you view yourself because you grow up with them. From cradle to adolescence, you’re immersed into a lifestyle that was grown by someone else. You watch behaviors, eating habits, and routines, and all those things are projected onto you. Having a parent who is obsessively indulging in diet culture and fads sends subliminal messages to a young child that food alterations and drastic measures to restrict yourself are normal. You learn intrinsic mannerisms that plague a healthy lifestyle. Ingesting comments about being so frail your whole life, you suddenly decide to break a lifelong chain of starving yourself thin, and you find yourself in a gym. Finally feeling good and fueling your body, your mom warns you to stop, or you’ll look like a bodybuilder. So, something you’ve been healing feels broken again. And it will again and again. That’s the sour truth, but with each crack in your mending process, you will learn that words hold weight, yes. But they do not determine yours, nor how to feel about it.
Girlhood: The breaking and mending of body image, the reconstructing of self-love, the defiance of how our predecessors deemed it appropriate to speak to a young girl. The scale tipping, the starving, the “one, two, three, breathe… it's okay”, the body checking, the longing to be anyone but yourself. The healing, the metamorphosing, the loving, the learning to love yourself, the learning to listen without ruminating in falsified claims. The breaking and mending. Girlhood.
So if I am to leave you with anything: Watch what you say to girls.
Strike Out,
Rosemary Aziz
Boca Raton
Rosemary Aziz is a Content Writer for Strike Magazine Boca. A health and wellness junkie who finds leisure in writing, all things coffee, and observing the human condition– but people-watching is better with friends. Or in her next article. You can reach her by email at r.m.aziz0204@gmail.com .
Instagram: rosemary.aziz
