The Thin Line Between Self Love and Narcissism
Image Courtesy: Strike Magazine Chattanooga
One of the greatest challenges for a young adult living in a social media-driven world is finding the key to self-love. I know I am not the only one who has struggled with self-love for the majority of my adolescence. It is impossible to look in the mirror and love every single part of myself every day. I am trying my hardest to be less critical of myself, but I am also terrified of being overly confident and exhibiting traits of narcissism.
The term Narcissism is derived from the tragic Greek myth, The Story of Echo and Narcissus. Narcissus was the most beautiful man in the forest and everyone who laid eyes upon him fell in love immediately, but he was quite conceited and believed no one was good enough for him. While he was hunting, Narcissus discovered a gorgeous pool of perfectly still water. Narcissus looked into the pool of water and at last had found the love of his life: himself. Narcissus tried to kiss his own reflection but was overwhelmed with sorrow when his lips were met with spring water. Narcissus stared at his own reflection day after day until he withered away and died from grief.
A narcissist defined by Merriam-Webster is “an extremely self-centered person who has an exaggerated sense of self-importance. Narcissistic Personality Disorder is one of the few mental disorders that is nearly impossible to diagnose. This is because a true narcissist is unable to admit they harbor any flaws. Individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder have a grandiose sense of self-importance, lack of empathy, sense of entitlement, need for excessive admiration, and demonstrate arrogant behaviors.”
Self-love is nothing like narcissism and it’s important to separate these terms in order to accept that loving yourself is the key to inner peace. Loving yourself means validating your own accomplishments without needing acknowledgement from others. Self-love involves being aware of your flaws and owning them. Loving yourself is loving others. Everyone has weaknesses and strengths. Understanding this balance makes it easier to view everyone around you as equal. Self-love is not about loving the way you look. Focusing on the physical can be a slippery slope. Take some time to look inward and see yourself for who you are or who you want to be. Be gentle with yourself and let go of any guilt and shame from your past.
If you have ever wondered if you have Narcissistic Personality Disorder, you probably do not. A true narcissist will never question themselves and will believe their behavior is just. There is also a difference between having the disorder and exhibiting singular traits. In the age of social media, having traits of narcissism is fairly common. We are constantly looking at ourselves on Instagram, Snapchat, and Tik Tok. It is easy to get wrapped up in physical appearance and become obsessed with how other people perceive you. This is the curse of social media. We have lost our sense of reality. Instagram is not real life. Your perception of yourself shouldn’t be based on how many followers and likes you have. How do you treat the people you love? How do you treat your body? How do you feed your brain?
I will not claim that self-love is easily attainable because it’s actually the opposite. It is hard to look in the mirror every day and love what you see. It is hard to stop comparing yourself to others on social media. It is hard to be kind to others when you are not kind to yourself. I do believe that it is possible and that it comes in waves. Some days I feel like the most beautiful woman in the world and want to make everyone around me feel just as amazing as I do. Some days I hate myself. You are not narcissistic just because you think highly of yourself. I encourage you to look in the mirror with a gentle heart and accept every single part of you.
Story of Echo and Narcissus Here
Merriam-Webster Definition Here
Strike Out,
Writer: Zay Naeem
Graphic: Brennen Purcell
Editor: Jane Dodge
Chattanooga