The Palette of Friendships
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The discussion of friendships and who to surround yourself with– especially in your 20s– always sparks interesting conversations. Motivational speaker Jim Rohn once said something we all have etched in our brains: “You are the average of the five people you surround yourself with.”How true is this? How much do the people around you influence your life? To me, the answer is simple: a lot. Think about the last time you had a really good or bad day. The people that you interacted with more often than not influenced how your day went. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “quality over quantity.” Today, many are determined to achieve this in their lives, especially when it comes to friendships. But here’s my proposal, which is a slight alteration to the theory: friendships exist more in the form of a palette, with different types of paints that splash onto the canvas of your life.
The first type of paint is watercolor. Delicate, translucent, and fluid– these represent the brief and fleeting yet momentous connections and friendships you make. Think of people you see at a party for less than five minutes, the people you make small talk with in your classes, or the acquaintances you wave to when you walk around campus. Sure, on the surface, these interactions may feel like they’re insignificant, but I want to establish that they carry a little more weight than we realize. Each interaction you have in a day is like the whimsical watercolor that adds a hue to your perspective towards life. An ode to the fall: consider the Gilmore Girls character Tristan. During Rory’s high school life at Chilton, he had a brief yet memorable presence. Just like watercolors, his role faded out into impermanence, but his flirtatious interactions with Rory added a great deal of excitement to her high school experience, and this is undoubtedly through all the TikTok edits appreciating how underrated he is.
I think there is this underrated ephemeral beauty in watercolor friendships. Even if these friendships don’t last, they teach you spontaneity and lightness– and you need these for a fulfilling life. Short-term connections and friendships teach you about ways in which you can grow as a person, and these lessons truly shed new light on your canvas of life. Like watercolor strokes that blur out over time, these connections and interactions are not failures but just natural transitions and directions to lead you to what’s meant for you. So, embrace fluidity. Accept how beautiful change can be and how transience can add to the thrill of life.
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Oil paints, on the other hand, are symbols of durability and constancy. It’s about moving past the superficial– the version of yourself you may want others to see– and channeling authenticity. When painting a canvas, a mistake made using oil paint is harder to correct than if it were watercolor. But your mistakes, your flaws, and your shortcomings are in the package deal with your dreams, hopes, and ambitions– the stronger and more meaningful aspects of your life. Your ‘oil paint’ friends not only know these things about you but also love you for them.
I’m no artist but it’s noticeable that oil paints reveal the splendor of the painting through layers and depth. It takes time to build this kind of richness; an oil paint friendship requires unfurling every layer of your personality. It’s the shared experience, trust, and vulnerability that is the foundation of these friendships. And things can get tough. Going back to Gilmore Girls, while many think of Rory and Lane, I find Rory and Paris more intriguing. Although they started as academic rivals, their friendship grows to be one of the show's most enduring friendships, weathering all of the ups and downs of high school and college life. These friendships are about the ones who you know would be there for you even when the time is rough– even when you feel lost. These are the genuine and honest friends, who don’t sugarcoat things but are still your rock. They are the ones that push you out of your comfort zone. The oil paints take a long time to dry, but once they’re set, they are durable. Similarly, these friendships withstand the test of time, distance, and the storms of life that watercolor paints might not. Beautiful, intentional, and set in stone for life– these are the friendships that fuel you and make life feel worthwhile.
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Celebrate your friendships every day. Know that every person you meet has an impact on you, even if subconsciously. And always remember, you impact their lives too. Who are your watercolors, who bring brightness and amusement to your life? And who are your oil paints, that ground you and whom you can count on? In the end, life is a canvas, where each brush stroke leaves behind a striking impression on the masterpiece of your life.
Strike Out,
Natasha Rathi
University of Notre Dame
