The Intimacy of Shared Clothing
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When my best friend passed away nine years ago, they told me I could bring one item to place in her casket. I chose a jacket of mine she always borrowed; the memories we shared were stitched into its fibers. That jacket became the emblem of our immortal bond, the thread that tethered us together forever. Clothes serve as our second skin; they’re not merely garments but extensions of ourselves, our first impressions, our very psyche in cotton. Sharing these pieces of ourselves with those we love is one of the most intimate acts imaginable. Those fortunate enough to have experienced the privilege of sharing clothes understand the gravity of carrying a piece of someone that serves as a tangible reminder of their presence.
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As a young girl, raiding my mom's closet was my favorite pastime. Trying on her clothes felt like stepping into the shoes of the woman I would see getting ready for work in a sleek blazer and pointed cat heels every day. Now, as an adult, sharing clothes has become a bonding experience for my mom and me. Each time I put on her clothes, it’s as if I’m enveloping myself in a layer of her confidence, a connection to the woman I’ve always admired.
While my relationship with my mother laid the foundation for my appreciation of shared clothing, I truly began to understand its power when I moved in with three of my best friends. Every outing unfolds in a flurry of activity: running into each other’s rooms, scouring for the perfect outfit. It’s a delightful free-for-all, a shared agreement of “take what you need,” fostering a closeness that defines our friendship. The greatest act of trust I’ve encountered is lending my clothes to my friends, fully aware there was a chance they might return with a souvenir from the night before with a vodka-cranberry stain serving as a badge of our connection. I never grew up with sisters, but four girls scrambling to find an outfit in each other’s closets is the closest thing I’ve ever felt to sisterhood.
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Extending beyond the bonds of friendship is the deeply intimate act of sharing clothes with a romantic partner. As humans, we cherish our sense of self and our possessions. Entrusting someone with your body and your heart is one level of vulnerability but allowing them to keep a piece of you with them everywhere they go is a true testament to trust and closeness. Receiving that first article of clothing from someone is a turning point in a relationship; it’s a silent declaration that trust exists and that they're willing to share fragments of themselves with you. That’s why it’s so hard to get rid of their clothes when they’re gone, you’re throwing away the last piece of them.
Clothes serve as triggers for memories, like a time capsule; smelling the remnants of someone or feeling the fabric they once wore instantly transports you back to a feeling, a moment, a person. It's an act that inherently connects people on a deeply emotional level. If you truly want to give someone a piece of you, entrust them with the privilege of borrowing your clothes.
Strike Out,
Writer: Isabella Santiago
Editor: Lindsey Limbach
Tallahassee