The Comfort in Friendships
Connecting with humans is the sole reason why people become friends in the first place. Whether it be connecting with someone because you both go to the same school, you guys really love cats or you just enjoy talking to each other at a local coffee shop. It does not matter, what matters is real-life connections. I am not talking about online mutuals or people who comment on your instagram posts that you've barely said a word to in person. I’m talking about true, heart to heart friendships where the longer you’re friends the closer you seem to get. Learning to feel comfortable in friendships shows your ability to connect and open up to others.
In Aristotle's The Nicomachean Ethics, he wrote that there are three different types of friendship, which I think were pretty spot on. The first one is, “friendships based on utility,” meaning both parties gain something as a result. An example of this could be a college freshman reaching out to someone in their class because they seem nice but, also they need help on their homework due the following week. The second one is, “friendships based on pleasure,” meaning being around people you can have a good time/be carefree with. An example could be a friend who is positive, bursting with energy and loves to party! The third is, “friendships based on virtue,” which means both friends share the same values. It also means they respect one another highly in an admirable manner. This could be from religious beliefs all the way to your favorite rock band. Aristotle hit the three main types of friendship tremendously; you may be wondering what kind of friendships do you have in your life?
Image Courtesy: Sunshine Finnell 2008
Sunshine Finnell (left) & Starr Hinton (right)
Being vulnerable with people who aren’t your family can be scary, in company with letting someone get to see all sides of you. It can also be extremely difficult keeping or even finding friends; especially in college when everyone is so busy trying to figure out what they want to do with their own lives. True friends want to support one another through hard times no matter what. It can be a breakup, a bad test score or even losing a loved one; friends are supposed to be there for you when you need them the most. I have had a friend named Starr Hinton since kindergarten. We have done everything together since kindergarten throughout highschool. Even when she went to a different high school than me. Today, we’re both in college and I am still in my hometown, Chattanooga TN, meanwhile she goes to school in California. Despite being over 2,000 miles away from each other we still talk all the time. We facetime, send each other memes/instagram reels everyday, she visits on breaks and I will be visiting her this summer in California. She is the best friend I could ask for because we want the best for each other. That is what friendships are about.
Image Courtesy: Sunshine Finnell 2023
Starr Hinton (left) & Sunshine Finnell (right)
Wanting the best for each other, with nothing in return. Just each others acceptance and platonic love for one another. Being able to put in effort for one another is crucial; not it being just one-sided. Protecting one another against the world while being able to grow with each other after a passage of time is immaculate. Starr and I’s friendship is based on pleasure but, most importantly, virtue. In the words of Aristotle, “Perfect friendship is the friendship of [those] who are alike in virtue,” he wrote. “For these [individuals] wish well to each other [in all circumstances] and thus [these friendships] are good in themselves.” Understanding where you and your friendships stand shows what you really want out of them and how much you care about the people in your life. That’s because friendships are and will always be priceless.
Strike Out,
Sunshine Finnell
