The Age of the Ageless Woman

Image Courtesy: Strike Tallahassee

When we were children, we acquired a set of unspoken rules for social interaction—don’t ask your friend’s parents how much money they make, say please and thank you when your neighbor does a favor for you, and never ask a woman how old she is.  

There’s no rule about asking a man how old he is, but to ask a woman is the most heinous of crimes. If she reveals her age, she reveals her deepest, darkest secret. To ask a woman about her age is to cast her against the backdrop of gendered ageism.  

Image Courtesy: Keystone Cosmetics  

In 2020, about 4 million people got botox. Of those 4 million, less than 300,000 were men. This means that over 90 percent of people getting botox injections are women. There’s a disconnect here: if aging is a crime for women, why isn’t it a crime for men? 

Image Courtesy: iStock 

A woman can only look beautiful if she looks young. If you think about the most stunning women in the world, chances are most of them are under 40. If they’re over 40, they probably don’t look it. Advertisements show young women with almost childlike features, promoting the narrative that a woman is only as worthy as the (negative) sum of her years. Contrastingly, the most attractive men in the world may range into higher numbers. As men age, they can grow into their rugged handsomeness, turning into a “silver fox.” They may even date younger women.  

We don’t see a lot of women over 40 dating 20-year-olds, but the same cannot be said about the other end of the gender binary. At 47, Leonardo DiCaprio is notorious for having girlfriends who are years (and even generations) younger than him. He looks his age. A woman who looked 47 would most likely not be dating a younger man because women are not allowed to age—we are only our most desirable to men when we look 20. 

Image Courtesy: Boston.com 

Even if a woman is 20, she still worries about aging.  

The most recent fad for women to fall into is baby botox. Confession: I have almost fallen victim to the preventative botox movement. If this is the first you’re hearing of it, baby botox is botox for women under 30; it’s meant to prevent fine lines and wrinkles before they start. Now, not only do we tell women that they need to correct any signs of aging, but they also need to preemptively prevent aging as well. Why would an 18-year-old like me need Botox? 

The truth is that the standard of beauty for women is pretty much a 16-year-old girl. We’re meant to be hairless, smooth-skinned, and have an effervescent youth about us that reveals none of our wiseness. We must be naïve and innocent, a culmination of all the traits that have defined us in the patriarchy. 

While I think that cosmetic surgery and botox are valid choices for women to make, it is also important to recognize where this narrative stems from. Everyone should have the chance to feel beautiful in their own skin, so ask yourself if this is a choice most women would make without the judgment of others.  

Aging is a natural process of the human experience, and it should be celebrated as such. A woman whose smile lines and crow’s feet show has had years of happy, joyous experiences. Aging is a luxury. 

Unfortunately, it’s a luxury that women don’t have.   

Strike Out, 

Writer: Lydia Coddington 

Editor: Noelle Knowlton 

Graphic Designer: Leah Solomon

Tallahassee