STFU GORDON RAMSAY!
We all have a little Gordon Ramsay living in our heads. Now from that sentence alone, you’re probably thinking I may be Schizophrenic; however, what I’m trying to say in the least cliché way possible is that we’re our biggest critics. And who’s a meaner critic than Gordon Ramsay? Unfortunately, I do often find myself feeling like an “idiot sandwich,” and this reflection made me realize that a lot of people feel the same.
“Sebastian’s.” Kitchen Nightmares, created by Daniel Kay, season 1, episode 6, Fox, November 7th 2007. https://www.avclub.com/kitchen-nightmares-sebastians-1798203465
A lot of people say that the person we see in the mirror isn’t an accurate reflection of ourselves. My friends and I always tell each other that our pimples always look bigger to us than they do to others because they’re on our faces. I consistently experience the, “Your hair’s not that greasy, what are you talking about?” or “What are you talking about? I can't even see your eyebags, look at mine.” It’s exhausting to hear my friend telling me she’s having a bad hair day but her hair looks beautiful, as per usual. You get the gist, and I’m sure you’ve experienced the gist. If not with looks, then with sports, school, friends — in literally anything that our mind can have an opinion on, we see this exaggeration of self-deprecation, and most times our opinions are worse than reality.
Now this may not be a universal phenomenon, but I do believe that each individual person is their own biggest critic. People’s views of themselves become distorted because oftentimes we don’t view ourselves as others do. When I sat down to write this, I started wondering if it was just a me thing (which would’ve been really embarrassing), but a quick Google search eased this self-doubt. When I typed “we’re our biggest critics” my screen was flooded with psychology reports, Reddit threads, Quora posts, and news articles. Though not scholarly sources, they proved my point that a lot of people experience this personal sense of critique. Googling “we’re our biggest fans,” however, led me to a news article about the biggest football team fans, a sticker with windmills, and a song entitled “We’re Your Biggest Fans” on Youtube… the video had 22 views (1).
An article written by Hanna Olson caught my eye in particular as she discusses the role that the spotlight effect plays in this hyper awareness of ourselves. Firstly, the spotlight effect refers to the phenomena where people think they’re being noticed far more than they actually are. Olson writes that “we tend to assume that people notice our poorest moments more than our greatest ones, and that our flaws are our most defining traits. This is what makes us terrible critics of our own work much of the time, and what keeps us from pursuing challenges which might seem slightly out of range” (2).
Wallace, D. F. (n.d.). David Foster Wallace Quote. Quotefancy. https://quotefancy.com/quote/972402/David-Foster-Wallace-You-will-become-way-less-concerned-with-what-other-people-think-of
What I and this super inspirational quote from Quotefancy are getting at is this: that little Gordon Ramsay in your head telling you that your pimple looks like a giant crater, or that you suck at school or sports or whatever hobby you’re into, isn’t only in your head (hypothetically speaking, of course). Being your biggest critic is, unfortunately, a shared experience. Reflecting on this concept elevated a sense of loss in me for the stark reality is, so many people are unable to see and appreciate and love their true selves as we can get so caught up with our yelling-Gordon-Ramsay-equivalents. While I don’t think this piece of writing will solve the fact that our views of ourselves are distorted, taking time to really contemplate this distortion of reality makes it a little easier to remember that what we see in the mirror doesn’t necessarily accurately represent who we are.
Strike Out,
St. Louis
Written by: Ivey Smith
Edited by: Brook Wang
(1) Songlorious. “We’re Your Biggest Fans.” YouTube, uploaded by Songlorious - Topic, June 1st 2022, https://youtu.be/XsI1hOiE2lo?si=-RsHD2BXVTL70jbU
(2) Olsen, H. B. (2015, April 1). The spotlight effect: Why you’re your own worst critic. CreativeLive Blog. https://www.creativelive.com/blog/the-spotlight-effect-why-youre-your-own-worst-critic/