Somebody That I Used to Know
Being a freshman in college and independent for the first time, you discover a lot about yourself. My roommate was sick on and off for about the first three months of school, and I caught myself saying things to her that my dad would say to me when I got sick at home:
“Drink lots of water, flush the sickness out.”
“Motion is lotion. Get moving and you’ll feel better”
“Take a hot shower to get the gunk out of you.”
“Orange juice helps a sore throat.”
I thought it was amusing how quickly and unknowingly I recited the advice he used to give me. A similar occurrence happened when I was walking to class with a friend when a fire truck passed, sirens blaring. As it drove past us, I found myself saying, “hope everyone is okay!” After near copies of this situation happened with the same friend, they asked why I had said that every time I heard a siren. I did not have a straight answer aside from the fact that my family had always said this growing up. I realized that no matter how long I go without seeing my family or how far away we are, they are still with me because of the parts of them that I have taken. This sentiment rings true for all those we love: we take pieces of them with us and add them to ourselves. We are a mosaic of everything we have taken from everyone we have loved.
After this, I started to question myself. Am I my own person? Do I not have enough self-actualization to create my own personality and instead resort to stealing from others? I convinced myself I was the only one taking things from the people I loved. Upon returning to school following the end of winter break, a friend approached me with a story from her time at home. She recounted how a few hours after she got back, her parents noticed her speaking to them in a strange high-pitched voice. They were pretty confused as to why she was talking to them like Elmo, and she had to explain to them that it was a weird habit she had developed after too many hours around me. It was comforting to know I was not alone in my theft. People enjoyed aspects of me enough to take them when we were apart. I did not realize I was still a part of others' lives even when I was not physically present. I was also led to the conclusion that most things we do are not unique decisions.
We steal and adapt our mannerisms, personalities, habits and maybe even funny voices to mimic the people we love and the things we love about them. We may not always be together, but the things we take from our loved ones stay with us. When I spoke to those in my life about this concept, I was struck by how many examples they could come up with. Friends expressed things that they had taken from past relationships with examples like:
Keeping soda tabs in shoes for good luck,
When driving in a roundabout, asking passengers to choose a number between one and ten and then driving around that many times,
Knocking on the roof of a car if driving through a yellow light
and
Eating ice cream out of cups instead of a bowl.
The list could go on and on, but everyone's habits have the same reason behind them: they continued doing it, because regardless of the status of their relationship now, it was something that brought them joy in the past.
My best friend, Ashleigh, described it perfectly.
“It doesn’t matter how that person leaves your life,” Ashleigh said. “There are people who have destroyed my life a thousand times, but for some reason, I still really hold onto the parts of them I have kept so tightly. I think it’s just because it justifies that mistake. It is holding onto part of the relationship or the piece of them that was good.”
It is quite interesting to wonder how many people you may no longer be in touch with still keep pieces of you with them. Regardless, I know that I am not just myself, but also the pieces of others that I have taken. I am a mosaic of everyone I have ever loved.
Strike Out,
Blake Witmer
Editor: Gianna Rodriguez
Athens