“So What Now?”
Image Courtesy: Instagram
It happens like a car crash: the tumultuous friendship break-up. Oftentimes, we find that it hurts worse than an actual break-up. One day you’re best friends, laughing and smiling and having the time of your life, then the next you’re blocking each other on Instagram and crying to your mom because your heart is aching in a way you didn’t know was possible. There’s something to be said about caring so deeply and intensely for another person, just for it to eventually end. If you’ve never gone through this, I applaud you. But for those of us that have, the pain still rings true.
Dealing with a friendship fallout is usually emotionally challenging and complex, as our friendships typically hold a deep emotional significance to us. When it happens, it can feel like a loss of trust, connection, or mutual understanding. The first step in navigating this difficult situation is to acknowledge the emotions involved - all of the hurt, confusion, sadness, and even anger. Allow yourself to grieve. When a relationship (platonic, romantic, etc.) ends, it’s normal to feel a void. You let that person consume a part of your soul, so when it’s over, there's often an emptiness. It’s so incredibly important to give yourself space to process your feelings without rushing to fix things right away. This will not only help you understand the root of the fallout, but also if repairing the friendship will ultimately be worth it.
Open communication is key. If possible, having an honest conversation can help to clear up misunderstandings or miscommunications. It’s very important to approach the discussion with a mindset of listening as much as talking. It’s also very important to acknowledge that, because of the anger, one side of the situation will feel self-righteous and as though they did nothing wrong. But the majority of the time, friendship breakups are caused by both parties, not just one or the other.
Instead of pointing fingers and placing blame, express your perspective and let your friend do the same. In most cases, the issue lies in a simple misunderstanding or lack of clarity, and addressing it head-on can open the door to reconciliation.
Image Courtesy: Instagram
However, not all friendships are meant to be repaired, and that’s okay. Sometimes, the fallout can reveal deeper issues, like incompatibility or differing life paths. Recognizing when it’s time to let go is equally important. Holding on to a relationship that no longer serves you can be draining and might prevent both individuals from growing.
As you grieve, you still need to care for yourself, as hard as it feels. Take care of your physical and emotional health. Engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment, whether that’s through hobbies, exercise, or spending time with other loved ones. Practicing self-care will help you rebuild your sense of self outside of the friendship.
Ultimately, healing from a friendship fallout requires time and self-compassion. Every relationship, whether it ends or not, teaches us about ourselves. Reflect on what you’ve learned and grow from it. Surround yourself with supportive people, focus on self-care, and allow space for new connections. Sometimes, a friendship may end, but with time, it can bring valuable lessons that lead to stronger, healthier relationships in the future. Whether you repair the bond or move on, the experience offers an opportunity for growth and understanding.
Strike Out,
Kaya O’Rourke
Editor: Maya Kayyal
Saint Augustine
Kaya O’Rourke is a writer for Strike Magazine, Saint Augustine. She’s a big fan of film and art houses, curating the perfect Spotify playlist for every occasion, and spending time with her cats. When she’s not shelf-reading at the library, you can reach her on Instagram at @kayaorourke.
