Setting Boundaries in My Life Has Made Me More at Peace
Going through a breakup, choosing what energy you decide to keep in your circle, or distancing yourself from people that don’t motivate you to become a better version of yourself is really f*cking hard. Imagine you’re casting the actors for the movie about your life. As the main character, you want your supporting actors to be there to see you thrive. There’s no point in having a supporting cast that’s not enjoyable to be around. The good thing about this thing called ‘life’ is that it’s yours. You call the shots. Easier said than done, but it’s all a part of the universal growing pain every human being has to go through.
There are certain things that can help us get through the discomfort of setting boundaries, but there’s only so much that can distract us from the spirals. General PSA though—I’m no expert here! What has worked for me might not work for you. Everyone’s journey is exponentially different, and that’s why you are reading this article, I suppose. To get insight on how a stranger, like myself, deals with the distress of wanting to protect my inner peace. Learning how to protect my inner peace has been the opposite of easy. Let’s start off with that. Protecting my inner peace consists of being honest with myself and saying “no” when in the past, I would have said “I would love to.” It’s not about coming off rude and disappearing from people’s lives, but more about setting the tone in the relationship—what social settings you have the mental capacity for and who are you granting your time and energy to. The people that are meant to be in your life and understand your boundaries will hear you out and be there for you through thick and thin.
Choosing oneself is one of the hardest things we must learn to endure but one of the most fulfilling feelings you’ll ever know. Whether that’s breaking up with someone because they didn’t turn out to be the person you thought they were or stepping away from a friendship because it was affecting your mental health. Both are entirely valid! Listen, we live on a spinning rock, and if we aren’t living for ourselves, then what’s the point?
As I said, dealing with the discomfort of setting boundaries and spending time with yourself is not easy, but well worth it. We are transitioning from “Healing Girl Summer” to “Healing Girl Fall” because this healing sh*t does not take time off, that’s for sure. Having a routine to build your life around is probably the first thing I would recommend. This involves work, school, fitness, and even being consistent with your skincare routine. You gain clarity if you stick with these core pillars for a few days and mind your business. That’s what setting boundaries is really all about for me. Clarity is needed when life feels tumultuous and overbearing. This goes hand in hand with learning to stay in when going out feels like “the better choice.” I’m always going to love a good hangout or a night out dancing—I’m a Sagittarius rising for crying out loud—but sometimes it’s just not what our social battery needs. Sometimes our social battery needs a night in re-watching “Gilmore Girls” for the fifth time while you inhale a pint of “Chunky Monkey” (iykyk). Normalize staying home every once in a while and re-watching the same show a million times for your mental health.
No one ever said setting boundaries was fun or easy, but it is necessary. If we don’t set boundaries, we will become people-pleasing monsters and that’s a whole different article for another time. At the end of the day, as long as you’re communicating your needs, you’re golden. The people who value you and understand your boundaries will end up being the ones that truly deserve your time, energy, and love.
Strike Out,
Maria Paula Gonzales
Boca Raton
Maria Paula Gonzales is a Content Writer for Strike Magazine Boca. When she’s not writing her way through life, she enjoys thrifting, looking for concerts to attend, and spending as much time in nature as possible. You can reach her at mariapaulag97@gmail.com
