Reclaiming the Word ‘Bitch’
I was a freshman in college when I started to really “get” into feminism—if one ever “gets” into it. I had always been a feminist, called myself one, and supported feminist happenings, but when I started college, I noticed the inherent sexism in a lot of my daily social and academic interactions. This led me down a rabbit hole of reading feminist texts and trying to do as much research as I possibly could. Through my reading, I came to realize the term “bitch” was a cuss word that was born out of sexism—a way to label women a certain way when men didn’t get what they wanted from them, were rejected, or were told no. A “bitch” was a woman who did not cater to what men wanted from them at any given point in time. It was a way to put women in their place and make them work to not be called one by their husbands, boyfriends, bosses, coworkers, teachers, or even friends. After learning this, I vowed not to use the word and to try and take it out of my vocabulary in order to not further spread a claim that supports the patriarchy’s need to take women down a peg. My growing awareness resulted in my observation of just how much everyone loves to say “bitch.” Derogatory or not, my friends and people I would overhear in conversation would use the term to describe just about anyone who annoyed them or was rude. It made me angry at first—why does a term so popular in everyday vernacular equate rudeness with women? Why could there not be another term we use to talk about people who have done us wrong or were not very nice? I felt like the word’s existence further allowed casual sexism to occur in everyday life, subtly infusing our lives and language with a green light to make fun of women for a singular, isolated incident.
A lot of people may feel as if it’s not so serious to “take back” the word. But in the attempt to extract sexism for good—or at least in a way that has positive, tangible change—must include a serious reimagination of how we use the word and examine how we let ourselves treat and talk about women. No matter what gender, we all perform misogyny through a culture that encourages and emphasizes it. I stopped using the word ‘bitch’ in an effort to be one less person involved in its sexist background, be the change you wish to see in the world and all that. But my friends see it in a different way. We use the term “bitch” to hype each other up, to empower ourselves, we refer to ourselves as “that bitch” or a “bad bitch.” We use the word when we’re excited, or dancing, or when something shocking happens, or simply if we happen to look really good. We use “bitch” to say something to each other, a communicative colloquialism to express our love of our girls. They are our “bitches,” —synonymous with ride or die, a best friend, or our “best bitches.” As pragmatic as this seems, the use of “bitch” has become something else. Imbued with cultural and generational connotations, we collectively began the process of taking it back.
I recently started using the word again, reclaiming it in an effort to take back some of the power taken from women originally.
How can we use “bitch” in a feminist way? Try not to use it to describe women. Don’t use it to talk down on women you casually know, don’t know, or might even know well (in that case, maybe try going to therapy). If a friend of a friend did you wrong, consider trying to forget their gender, and express frustration with a string of other fun and playful expletives. Urban Dictionary is a great resource—and free. Think of bitch as effused with positive energy. It wouldn’t make sense to use it to make fun of women, just like it wouldn’t make sense to say I hate that beautiful, amazing, person (re: go to therapy or pat yourself on the back for a well-timed joke). Our language is, unfortunately, informed by the patriarchy and the sexism that permeates our everyday lives and society. As people of all genders, consider using another disparaging word to speak badly about someone who did you wrong. We don’t need to bring gender into hate! Let hate speak for itself. Next time, try ************.
Strike out, bitch!
Orlando
Written By: Brianna Patane
Edited By: Nina Rueda & Erika Ryan
