Recalling Those Asphalt Paved Paths That Lit Up The Past
Image Courtesy: Michael Angee
Anxiety, creative block and incessant ideas of a monstrous perception against my self-worth. What do these wonderful topics have in common? All three of these individual, metaphysical rocks within my path of peace stand no chance against the soldier in the shadows: running.
One of my first loves and my forever obsession, running, has provided me with a strange, wonderful, illuminated perspective of the world. You want a community of masochists? Join a running club! You want to get the half joking, half sincere comment of “your punishment is our sport,” through the entirety of high school? (With the bonus of meeting some of your favorite people of those four years, wonderfully included with the package). Join cross country! You want an excuse to listen to new music? Run, run, run.
When I was much younger, I began running as a means of getting closer to one of my uncles, and I believe he understands that deeply rooted sensation of the spirit pounding on the front door, waiting in some way to barge through. The fact that he was one of the benefactors in that aspect of my life solidified my connection to the sport even greater. The nature of such a formative aspect of my life being intertwined with an even more formative role model adds to the endless list of reasons I am so grateful for running.
Image Courtesy: Michael Angee
Within the times of my life that I have felt a certain manic output of creative work, even if it's only creations that I keep hidden, running has been one of the common factors that each time contained. Creativity rooted in the motion of personal evolution is something I believe running harbors perfectly, and it is one of the reasons I have been hooked for years.
When I carved out a new route in my neighborhood in my junior year of high school, I knew there was a special, unknown quality to it. Although I would run for miles, many of those sessions were documented in a messy, boundless and beautiful manner — as many runners may find routes in the depths of their camera rolls. Experiencing the energy of those moments, especially with the added quality of an unknown place, became a formative ritual of my life for three years and deeply explained how one place can have so many meanings, even day to day.
Some mornings I find myself sighing “oh fuck, again?” I get up, frolic towards my drawers and scavenge for whatever mismatched workout outfit I wear for the activity ahead.
Easily, and sometimes with urgent necessity, my shoes become wrapped on my swollen feet and like nothing, the door of my home closes behind me. The distance of the day is fueled by the question “what are you always running from?” Being asked this is a foggy memory, warped by the tremors of time, but this joking piece of personal trivia has always struck me. This simple question frequently re-enters my mind and I think I may be coming to an answer, an answer that is both personally timeless and remarkably intimate to the development of a malleable child to a late adolescent.
Image Courtesy: Michael Angee
In general, I find myself not setting expected outcomes with what I set out to do. I typically roll with the emotions handed in front of me, in an attempt to react organically and sometimes painfully earnestly. For running, there is a certainty in motion, a certainty in what I can control and a certainty that it will never be as planned. I am astonished by that fact, I am astonished by the possibilities of any run, of any day and of any conversation. That astonishment is fuel for an unbridled battery that I didn't even know existed.
Image Courtesy: Michael Angee
When in the motion of a run it's easy to observe natural forms, colors of bliss, waves of motion and an untapped understanding of the world just by feeling the leaves and cracking the pavement beneath you, this is the freedom of a bird's flight. Running provides a microcosm of inspiration, especially if someone chooses to run outside (I am very anti-treadmill, though if it's needed I guess you can use it…).
I urge anyone and everyone to lean into that activity that brings them immense joy, immense strength, endless passion. The understanding that it only takes literally a few steps to change my entire day is something that I have relished in discovering. As The Blueprint by Jay-z, Mama’s Gun by Erykah Badu, and N.E.R.D’s discography blasted in my ears for the first time down the asphalt paths that outline our homes, I was sure that my elation was because of these artists, my running, and the place and time in which I was in. And although this could seem momentary, there was a spiritual quality, something intangible about running with no destination.
Image Courtesy: Michael Angee
Within the personal narrative we all form for ourselves, one of the things that I have achieved in my own right is calling myself “a runner.” Now it takes a lot for me to really identify with things, to really feel them and call them my own. But running and I instantly clicked. Runner’s high feels like something of another planet, something that brings that poetic nature of existence out and erupts a certain joy that in its unique way, is so difficult to find anywhere else.
Whatever makes you happy, especially if it is not running, it brings me the utmost joy that that thing you hold so dearly, so wholeheartedly, has entered your life. Think of that thing and relish in the feeling it brings. Those activities are one of the many reasons to live, to prosper, to love, to care, to be perfectly in tandem with the depths of flaw.
Strike out,
Michael
Michael Angee is an editorial writer for Strike Magazine Gainesville. You can find him romanticizing long walks home from Library West, diving into his latest topic of obsession in history, art, music or grappling with the ins and outs of the Adobe Creative Cloud (Premiere Pro and Indesign have a very special place in his heart). You can reach him on Instagram @michael_angee or @asymmetry.ent or by email michaelangee@ufl.edu
