Re: To All the Boys I’ve Emailed Before

If digis are the new film cameras, then let emails be the new letters.

And before you say anything, no, emailing isn’t just corporate sign-offs and formal requests to professors to change your grade. Emailing is for the casual romantics who are seeking to ditch the convenience and nonchalance of texting – instead resorting to a semiformal and somewhat drawn out version of what could have easily been said in a voice memo.

I didn’t get a phone until I was in high school, so naturally as a pre-teen, I had to find an alternative means of communicating with my friends. I cycled through Yahoo, Google Hangouts and eventually Snapchat when I got an iPod Touch, but my all-time favorite mode of online chatting was emailing. The suspenseful delay in responses, the alluring professional formats – I discovered a hidden romance in emailing that was so much more gratifying than getting constant notifications on my phone. My inbox became my oasis, and I cherished the thoughtfulness I put into each and every message before I clicked “Send.”

I’d like to think that my love of emailing began in high school with my ex-boyfriend. I started forwarding him newsletters he liked and it eventually became a way for us to send each other music and book recommendations. After we broke up, I insisted that should he need to contact me, he should do so via email. He did, and every now and again when I’m feeling toxic, I forward him a newsletter so my name pops up in his inbox.

I am here to reignite your love of emailing, whether or not it was there to begin with. I’ve been lucky to have had many pen pals over the years, some brief affairs and others intimate friendships. Regardless, they’re always a joy to read through.

One of my favorite threads began one evening when my friend Ash and I went out for drinks at The Traveler in downtown Gainesville. After chatting with Maude, the bartender, about her upcoming winter menu, two of the bar’s regulars entered and a friendship quickly blossomed between us. We decided to meet again for a Wednesday night rendezvous featuring chicken buckets at Crybaby’s. I gave one of the gentlemen my email to keep me updated. Soon after, a Google Calendar invite appeared in my inbox.

Subject: Updated invitation from an unknown sender: Chicken/Trivia/Wine Bucket @ Wed Nov 20, 2024 7pm - 8pm (EST)

And so our digital exchange began:

From: McCall Horton

To: Arnold Howard

CC: Ashley Sauvignon
Dear Arnold, 

It is with a heavy heart that I must cancel on our group chicken bucket/skeeball/traveler evening. Ash and I unfortunately have a birthday party we are required to attend, and we will regrettably be unable to eat chicken with you all this week.

I would love to reschedule if possible, and I will be sure to send a Google Calendar invite when an available day presents itself.

My sincerest apologies and warmest regards,

McCall Horton

From: Arnold Howard

To: McCall Horton

CC: Ashley Sauvignon, Jack Thomas 

Dear McCall, 

I’d like to thank you for the kind words this morning, we will be sure to reschedule. I’ve cc’d Jack, the kind fellow to the left of me at the bar as well so he can be in the loop of conversation. 

We hope that your birthday party goes well and that your friend has a great and wonderful day. I’m sure it will be easy while in the company of people like yourselves. 

We’d like to inform you of our presence at “The Traveler” on this upcoming Friday night. Maude, the bartender, is releasing her new seasonal menu, which we will be indulging in throughout the evening. 

Hope to see you all there.

Thank you,

Arnold Howard

From: Jack Thomas

To: McCall Horton

CC: Arnold Howard, Ashley Sauvignon

Dear Fellow Travelers,

I am appreciative of your thought to intertwine me into this exchange. 

McCall, I second Arnold’s sentiment with the grandest wishes for you and your friends’ Wednesday night. While it may be a tall task to compete with a bucket of chicken, I hope for it to come close. 

Given that Maude has not yet missed, nor will she ever, I predict for the new rendition of her menu to be - for lack of a better term - fucking awesome. 

Best Regards,

Jack Thomas

The professionalism of this whole exchange should not be ignored. Why leave the corporate language at the office when you can use it in daily conversations with your friends?

Speaking of, one of my favorite friendships to have come out of emailing is with my British friend Aaron. I had the pleasure of meeting him in Barcelona while he was on a trip with his classmates from uni, and after I told him about my email bit, he insisted we keep in touch doing just that.

Here are a couple of my favorites:

Subject: To read

From: Aaron Read

To: McCall Horton

Dearest McCall,

I apologise for my lack of haste in response to your prior email. I got caught in the rough current of the universe for a while but the waters have calmed, the tide is out and the beach has cleared.

From your pictures on Instagram it appears you are having the most wonderful time in Spain and I’d love to hear about what you’ve been up to! 

I am writing to you finally, post my excursion amid the French. On occasion (several) I am a terrible friend who does not respond to messages as fast as he realistically should. This is one of those occasions.
In my time in France and over the past month, my pottery has really gone downhill. I'm struggling to make stuff I found easy a while ago. It's actually bumming me out so much. I’ve been having to rethink everything I do which I think is a good thing,

How has my favourite American been doing now that she is home! I want to hear it as much as you're willing to spill in an email, I truly love and envy your life.

With that I bid you adieu and look forward to hearing back from you.

Your Greatest Ally Within the British Isles and Emma Corrin Superfan,

Aaron 

From: McCall Horton

To: Aaron Read

Dearest Aaron,

I’m sure we will cross paths again soon; I am writing to you as my friend is in the bathroom, and we are enjoying our last night in Barcelona. I’ve really become fond of this city. 

We’ve been meeting up with wonderful friends, both old and new, and you would be happy to hear that we finally went to the sandwich place Martin recommended! Thank you again for your expert research on the subject. 

I’m sure your profile will progress, please don’t be hindered by a couple of rejections. On that note, I’m sure your projects aren’t as bad as you think, you’re very capable and I think most things are just a matter of practice. 

Very good on rethinking everything you do! My philosophy is if you’re not, you’re doing something wrong. 

I would love to continue to hear how your trip went and what philosophical escapes your mind is discovering. 

Wishing you the very best from across the pond,

McCallie Culkin
All that to say, emailing should not be seen as outdated or overly professional, but rather seductive and mysterious. It is not meant to be a daunting way to ask someone for a favor, and it is certainly not a practice that is reserved for your boss or great aunt who never figured out how to text. 

I hope this gives you some inspiration. 

Warmest regards,

McCall Horton.

Writer: McCall Horton

Editor: Naina Chauhan

McCall Horton is a writer for Strike Magazine GNV. If you need to find her, she’s probably rotting in a cafe and will drive hundreds of miles just to go to a good one. A manic journaler and book snob, you can invite her on pretty much any trip at a moment’s notice and she’ll say yes. You can reach her on instagram at @mccallhrenee or by email at mccallhorton1@gmail.com