Nobody Wants To Play Anymore
Image Courtesy: Instagram
Ralph Waldo Emerson believed that playing was a happy talent to have. He was a transcendentalist who hinged his writing on escaping the restraints that civilization has placed on us. Transcendentalists believe that people should not be bound by society's standards.
This is not what I expected of adulthood when I was young. I had this feeling that once I was free of childhood I would have the freedom to behave in any way I pleased. The dementedly hopeful aspiration for complete freedom in the mind of a child is one that slowly simmers until it is met by death from mundane. Adulthood is the realization that wonder is for children, and freedom is embarrassing.
Last weekend, my friend wore an insane amount of feathers to the bar. Partly because feathers are generally exciting, and partly because everything had gotten slightly boring and perhaps we needed costumes. Girls, fellow girls, literally snickered at us. We danced. It was fun, but the reactions from others were also illuminating. I realized that nobody wants to play anymore.
Defining what I mean by “play” is complicated. The term is often associated with children, though I don't suppose that should imply a negative connotation. Playing, to me, means experiencing passion and joy without fear of societal expectations or the pressure of keeping up a certain image.
Have you ever had the experience of someone asking you something along the lines of “should I double text?” or “did I sound weird?” or “No, I don’t want to dance. I would rather sit down and watch people dancing thinking, no, dreaming, of how amusing it would be if I got up and danced, too, but I simply can’t because that would probably be embarrassing?” I am so tired of the question of embarrassment. Though, I do understand it. I used to be embarrassed of everything.
I was embarrassed of caring about things, wearing strange yet exciting clothes, walking in front of people, talking too loudly– anything really possessed the limitless opportunity to embarrass me. I also had no fun.
Image Courtesy: Instagram
In order to play you must first abandon the possibility of embarrassment but somehow maintain self respect. As I get older, I get more comfortable with myself. I have been lucky enough to make friends with girls who are extremely authentic and individualistic, and found inspiration in them. To be able to play is to be unashamed of your passions and feelings. Referring back to Emerson, “To laugh often and much: To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you lived. This is to have succeeded.” The typical overused and frankly annoying cliche of “you only live once” is relevant to me, and should be to you. I once was ashamed of feeling too much or too often, or of experimentation, or of my honesty. The traits that feel embarrassing are secretly idiosyncratic talents. I imagine if the sun set on the opposite side, or if fish had wings, we wouldn’t question it because those things would feel normal. I urge you to question your definition of normal, and interrogate it. If your definition of normal has been preventing you from fully experiencing yourself, abandon that definition entirely. Play once more. This is the youngest you’ll ever be again.
Strike Out,
Indigo Carter
Saint Augustine
Editor: Maya Kayyal
Indigo Carter is the Creative Writing Copy Editor for Strike Magazine. She loves Hello Kitty and reading books about fairies. You can find her at indigocarterr@gmail.com or on Instagram @prettypretty.princesss.
