A Crush is Just a Lack of Information

“The same thing happened over and over: I would catch sight of some flawless man off in the distance, but as soon as he moved closer I immediately saw he wouldn’t do at all,” -The Bell Jar, Sylvia Plath

There’s something about the mystery of a crush, whether it's the possibilities of the unknown, of what it could be, or what it could turn into. If we have all these expectations in our minds for people that we don’t even know, how can we expect them to live up to these standards? 

We're all innately attracted to the unknown, but oftentimes once the chase is over, we lose interest as the mystery and unattainability fade away. 

We fall for people we barely even know and then get frustrated with ourselves when they’re not who we expect them to be. When we figure out that they’re different from the version of them that lives in our heads, our perception changes, and often, the crush meets its timely demise. You can either have one foot in the door or one foot out, but ultimately it will reach a point where you simply can’t have it both ways.

This entire concept suggests that a crush is more built on the imagination and projection of our ideal partner rather than liking someone for who they truly are. You want a nice, caring guy, so you fall for the first nice guy you meet – until you realize that you have absolutely nothing in common. We find ourselves having the “it’s not you, it’s me” conversation and the rest is history.  

At times we can find ourselves self-sabotaging things whenever they get too good. We’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop, but maybe, there isn’t another shoe. We fall victim to the idea that it’s just too good to be true, but can a crush turn into something real even after you get to know the person? 

There’s no doubt about the importance of maintaining standards and boundaries, but at what point do we realize that we might be expecting too much out of a “hello”? In this day and age, real romance is so rare, and the bare minimum is so glorified to the point where you convince yourself a random attractive stranger is your soulmate because they opened a door for you or got you flowers on the first date. It's become so hard to find someone who meets these bare minimum standards that not only do we end up settling for less, but we validate them for doing such. 

At the end of the day, it’s not easy to find someone who can show you what it feels like to be known, and the same goes for us. It’s easier to have a crush you don’t really know because sometimes, a crush is simply just a lack of information. 

Strike Out,

Elise Archer

Boca Raton

Elise Archer is a Content Writer for Strike Magazine Boca. She has a passion for everything creative- and she’s a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. If you can’t reach her, she’s either busy shopping, lost somewhere, or writing.  But if you would like to: elisearcher111@gmail.com or on Instagram @elisearcherr