Navigating the Perils of Growing up: Acne

Image Courtesy: Pinterest

Back in middle school, I didn't really care about how I looked, or even what other people thought about me. There was nothing about myself that I felt insecure about, or felt the need to change. In high school though, this changed when I started to get acne.  

I remember the first person who ever said anything to me was my Father. He asked,  “Do you want me to get you some face wash?” 

I went along and said yes, and sure enough, he came home with that pink, ruby grapefruit Neutrogena face scrub that has been in most people’s bathrooms at one time or another. I don’t remember how often I used it, but it surely felt like not enough.  

As my acne began to worsen, I truly began to notice it myself. Of course, I had to go through the worst of it during my Junior and Senior years of high school, as well as my Freshman year of college. I started researching every possible home remedy, but couldn’t seem to cure the incurable. My friends were supportive -- they always told me it was barely noticeable. This might have been true, because sometimes we hyper focus on what we believe are imperfections, but I was sure my acne was pretty terrible. 

It was at this point I became self-aware and started focusing on my looks. My acne caused me to see myself in a different way; I wanted to reach some sort of unfathomable standard. I always questioned how everyone else just got acne or pimples occasionally, while I had to struggle with painful, cystic bumps. 

I finally made an appointment with a dermatologist and the idea of Accutane was thrown around. Anyone who has had bad acne knows about Accutane, but I had heard so many horrible stories about the 9 months of side effects that come along with the medication. My dermatologist prescribed me with some more relaxed medicine to see if it would cure my acne. After taking it all of my Junior year, and it not working, I gave up. I let my skin go for the past 2 years and pretended I didn’t care how it looked. 

And despite common courtesy, people would still ask me questions like, “Do you wash your face twice a day?” and “Have you tried moisturizing?”. Pro tip: If you see someone with acne, don’t point out their acne. They’ve surely tried every home remedy Google can provide.  

When quarantine came around, my acne was probably at its worst. You would think that because I wouldn’t be showing my face in public for months on end, my acne wouldn’t bother me as much, but quarantine had quite the opposite effect. I wanted so badly for it to go away, so I would just look at myself in the mirror and think of every possible thing I could do until I finally came to the conclusion of what I needed: Accutane. 

I was terrified to try the drug, but today I have been off of Accutane for about a month and couldn’t tell you the last time I had a breakout. My confidence has completely peaked. Beauty isn’t something that should be prioritized whatsoever. Everyone is different, and everyone has the ability to embrace and love themselves no matter what. But for me, acne was leading me to start to question other aspects of my looks that I would have never thought of before.   

I didn’t choose to make the jump to finally clearing my skin for anyone but myself. Do what makes you feel best. Do what is feasible, and remember you are beautiful no matter what. 

Strike Out,  

Writer: Kendall Broglio

Editors: Lauren Cich & Marissa DeMaio 

St. Augustine