Navigating Alone Time

What do you feel when you hear the word alone? Being alone is often associated with sadness and rejection, but it doesn’t have to be. Being alone can be peaceful and enriching. It can be a period of time for you to grow into your own skin and realize what you find important without the influence of others. Being alone can be good, needed even.

Image Courtesy: Strike Magazine Chattanooga

I used to feel like being alone meant nobody wanted to be around me and that I wasn’t cared for in my group of friends, but as I got older, I realized sometimes I need to be alone. I need to lay in the sun outside with headphones in for hours on end by myself. I need to go thrifting and get coffee by myself. I need to go for a walk and daydream about my future by myself. 

Being alone does not mean that nobody likes you. Sometimes there are periods in your life where everyone is busy and you have to be alone, and honestly, some of those periods are where I grew the most. During those times, I discovered things about myself that I could never have otherwise. 

The most important thing I realized was that I am enough. I am pretty enough. I am funny enough. I am enough company for myself. I do not rely on other people to make me fun or interesting. I am interesting enough on my own.

Learning to care about yourself is a journey that you are alone in. Obviously, the people you love can be there to support you but at the end of the day, you are the one learning to accept and love yourself. Learning to enjoy that time you spend in self-reflection is key.

One way I practice intentional alone-time is by challenging myself to do things I usually would with friends, but by myself. I go to coffee shops and read books. I go roller skating. I take myself on picnics and read by the river. I do everything I could do with my friends by myself. 

Journaling is also extremely therapeutic. You can write about whatever you want and over time–when you go back and read your entries–you will see the progress you’ve made. You’ll see the people come in and out of your life. You’ll see how the way you talk about yourself or situations changes. You’ll see all the little differences and growth in your personality, and this will be your constant reminder that you are growing as much as it might feel like nothing is changing. 

Another thing being alone taught me is what I want versus what other people want for me. Talking about this topic with my friends, we realized that in past friendships, we were doing a lot of things not because we wanted to, but because people around us did. Spending time away from those friendships by ourselves helped us learn how to set boundaries, and we realized that we do not need to make other people comfortable at the expense of our own happiness.

With all that said, go plan a date for you and your mind today. It might be weird and awkward at first to do things by yourself, but growth is not as easy as it’s made out to be. Growth is a constant battle within yourself deciding if you would rather be comfortable now or happier later. And even if ten minutes with your own thoughts is all you can handle right now, I am proud of you for trying. 

Strike Out,

Writer: Kushi Zaver

Editor: Jane Dodge

Graphic: KateLynn Fronabarger

Chattanooga