Modern Dating Is An Extreme Sport And I Will Be Sitting The Bench This Season
When it comes to winter, the desire to cuddle up with someone is at an all-time high. From “hot girl summer” to “#relationshipgoals” and “soft launches,” cuffing season has officially begun.
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While idyllic, navigating today’s dating scene is an abysmal hellscape that makes me want to punch myself in the throat. Which leads me to my point: being single is something to idealize, too.
As a 21-year-old single woman, I am currently living in the thick of modern hookup culture. This world is filled with obsessing over every text sent, situationships and stalking their mom on Facebook. It is all just a big game and if you don’t play by the rules, you lose and end up alone drowning in a pile of insecurity.
Everything is so complicated – don’t ask to hangout two nights in a row, don’t double text and don't even think about showing that you actually care. Every move made is exhaustively calculated to appear thoughtless, yet requires just as much time and energy as it takes to become a professional athlete.
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So, instead of letting the brisk fall air spark an intense desire to get cozy with someone, I will be embarking on a journey of self-discovery like a cheesy coming-of-age movie. I know one day I will be someone’s best thing, but until then I want to be the best for myself.
Image Courtesy: @regannnward on VSCO
Instead of searching for someone to have a Halloween couples costume with, someone to bring home to mom and dad for Thanksgiving dinner or someone to kiss on New Year’s Eve, I will be prioritizing what matters the most to me. My energy will not be going toward answering the creeps in my Instagram DMs, but rather spending time with the people I love the most, chasing after my goals and creating new memories.
Love takes work. And, it is a two-way street. It takes effort to cultivate and maintain a relationship with any sort of emotional depth. Find the people who are willing to put in the same amount of time and effort as you are, instead of answering @sugardaddy7463828 on how he is seeking a sugar baby to take care of.
Learn to leverage your talents, step by step. There is so much to discover about yourself – there are books you have yet to read, movies you haven’t yet cried to and songs you haven’t yet screamed your lungs out to. We don’t necessarily have to live our lives waiting for people to love us, but we can live our lives in the hopes that we’ll find new things we love about ourselves.
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This is not to say relationships are nauseating bleak landscapes, but being single deserves to be romanticized into idyllic too. It is an opportunity to grow into your own. There is more than enough time in your life to experience being single and in a relationship – but, all in due time. Appreciate where you are and who you are with, especially during the holiday season.
Strike Out,
Writer: Cassie DesVergers
Editor: Kate Corcoran
Graphic: Chloe Girod
Gainesville
