The Toxic Relationship We’re All Stuck In

Image Courtesy: Pinterest

People are social creatures. Some more than others, but at the end of the day, we all have needs that must be met through interaction and cultivating relationships. Undoubtedly, a lack of socialization can have devastating effects on not only our mental but physical health as well. Socialization creates a release of dopamine in our brains, a natural response to things that bring us joy. This “reward” of dopamine for positive interactions causes our brains to literally become addicted with the feeling we get when socializing. The exact same thing happens when we mingle online as well, our brain cells receive that same rush from an Instagram notification or TikTok binge. When social notifications pop up on our phones, it doesn’t matter if it isn’t a physical interaction; our brain can’t tell the difference. Interestingly, this rush of dopamine creates the same feeling as eating your favorite food, kissing your s/o, exercising, and even using drugs.

The scary part is it's completely involuntary. The brain is trained by things that make it happy. Have you ever noticed the feeling you get when your IG is flooded with likes and comments on your recent post? Or when you watch a TikTok that has you laughing out loud? Both release a dose of dopamine, enough to keep your brain completely hooked.

The reward system in the form of a notification plays a key role in the love affair between people and their phones. When dogs are trained to do tricks, they are rewarded afterward, associating the praise with the action. When we pick up our phones, it’s not enough to keep us coming back, but when we see a text or notification, that little interaction causes a significant rush of dopamine and creates a reward system. On the flip side, when we pick it up after an extended period and see that our notifications are empty, there is a lack of dopamine, causing some real negative feelings. This can enact sudden states of loneliness, even though nothing in the real world has changed. You would think it would turn us off from wanting to check our phones, but it actually perpetuates the need for positive reinforcement and validation. According to a Harvard article, social networks design apps to target the Achilles heel, our dopamine-trained brain. This might seem minor, but it can be scary to realize just how many hours we spend staring at a phone if we check our screen time.

Sadly, this connection between people and their phones can take time away from genuine relationships, which humans need to thrive. Friends and partners are now competing with cell phones for the other person’s time and energy. Whether you choose to spend hours scrolling through Twitter or talking to a friend, the difference is that the metaverse doesn't have a shoulder to cry on or share your inside jokes.

So, how do we end this toxic relationship? Well, a few methods have proven effective, such as setting your phone to black and white because our brains are attracted to colors and combinations that stimulate us; therefore, turning off saturation will mitigate some addictive elements. Another way to detox is to turn off your social media notifications, so your brain can begin to break free of that reward system. Then, if you choose to scroll, it’s voluntary rather than an uncontrollable response to a notification. If you find yourself reaching for your phone as soon as you wake up, even before getting out of bed, try moving it from your nightstand or create a new wake-up routine to find that dopamine in other things.

There is a little world inside of our phones, but it’s not the whole world, and it’s definitely not a replacement for human interaction. Phones and even social networks have benefits, but it’s all about mindfulness and moderation, like anything else in life.

Strike Out,

Emma Saunders 

Boca Raton

Emma Saunders is a Content Writer and Photographer for Strike Magazine. In her free time, she enjoys saving the planet, drinking iced coffee, and listening to 80s music. You can reach her at emmarose3900@icloud.com