Inside Out: My Journey with PCOS and Self-Worth
Image Courtesy: Instagram
Two years ago, at my regularly-scheduled gynecologist appointment, I received some life-altering news. I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), a condition that causes hormonal imbalances in the ovaries, along with numerous different health-related issues, such as irregular periods, weight gain, infertility, severe acne, and more. Unfortunately, the one thing my gynecologist failed to mention was the nasty effect that PCOS would have on the way I perceive myself.
I’ve dedicated a lot of time over the last two years trying to come to terms with what PCOS is and how it affects every facet of my life. With that being said, I’d like to share some of the different recipes, workouts, and self-care tips I’ve been using to ensure I don’t let PCOS take control of the way I see myself.
While all diets differentiate, there are foods that are PCOS-friendly and those that aren’t. Personally, I’ve started cutting out foods that are highly processed or fried, those with high levels of added salt, sugary beverages, and red meats. This means I’ve lowered my intake of late-night snacks like chips, I’m no longer stopping for french fries on the way home, I order water at restaurants instead of Diet Coke, and I’ve almost completely cut out hamburgers from my diet. To replace all of these, I’ve found better alternatives. If I’m craving a snack, I’ll eat unsalted popcorn or a homemade trail mix of almonds, dried fruits, and dark chocolate. If I feel the need for an overtly sugary drink, I’ll substitute the soda for a smoothie, seltzer water, or kombucha.
Image Courtesy: Instagram
I've also begun making more meals at home rather than ordering out (more so for the fact that eating out is EXPENSIVE). I’m really into making salads, and being able to go to a grocery store and pick out my own ingredients is something I genuinely look forward to. My favorite salad (maybe even my favorite food ever?) is a classic chicken caesar, but store-bought kits aren’t always the tastiest. Making your own though? A truly unbeatable experience. For greens, I go for a blend of arugula and romaine, then I use grilled chicken and a boiled egg for protein. Toppings include cherry tomatoes, almonds, garbanzo beans, diced carrots, cucumber slices, and caesar dressing. Sometimes I’ll add strawberries and blueberries, or I’ll substitute the grilled chicken for salmon. If salads aren’t your thing, no worries. There are countless recipes online for PCOS-friendly dishes that are healthy AND delicious.
Image Courtesy: Instagram
Maintaining a healthy diet for PCOS is a good start, but staying in shape with workouts is another important part of kicking PCOS’s ass in terms of your perception of yourself. PCOS directly impacts hormones, but doing exercise is extremely beneficial for balancing them, as well as aiding in losing weight gained as a result of the syndrome. I’ve found that focusing on my core strength and cardio have been the most beneficial for the weight gain I’ve had since my diagnosis. I’ve come up with workouts centered around increasing my muscle mass and metabolism, as well as cardio of all kinds. I do yoga with my mom, the occasional pilates class, and go on plenty of walks. I’ve even started paying for an Apple Fitness subscription, mainly because if I pay for it, I’ll be more inclined to use it and not waste my money. My workout routine typically consists of arm circles with weights, squats with resistance bands, running on the treadmill, and different upper body activities, such as push-ups. The great thing about coming up with your own workout routine is that YOU get to determine how far you want to push yourself. Don’t forget that you know your body best! You know what feels good, you know what feels bad, and you know what will be the best exercise for your PCOS self-image.
Lastly, and maybe even most importantly, I want to talk about the ways that PCOS has affected my image of myself. PCOS side-effects include excess hair growth, acne, and hair loss. On top of that, the irregularities with menstrual cycles and fertility issues are a gateway to feeling insecure in myself as a woman. It’s easy enough to say, “I’m not insecure about any of these things at all! I know I’m beautiful.” But deep down, I fear that these physicalities are so overtly noticeable.
The ways in which I’ve gone about regaining confidence are simple. I understand that my PCOS doesn’t define my beauty, inside or out. I keep my hands off of my face, to steer clear of acne. I have “self-care” days, with relaxing, quiet, low-key activities such as baths or reading. I find myself filling my days with more to do so that the negative thoughts aren’t as loud. I acknowledge the fact that my PCOS doesn’t define me. It’s not much, but it helps.
Learning to love myself while having PCOS has been quite the journey, but I take it all one step at a time. To anyone out there that might also be struggling with the “PCOS and damaged self-worth” combination, or even just one of the two, please know that I see you. I hear you. I understand where you’re coming from. You’re not alone.
Strike Out,
Kaya O’Rourke
Saint Augustine
Editor: Maya Kayyal
Kaya O’Rourke is a writer for Strike Magazine Saint Augustine. She’s a big fan of film and art houses, curating the perfect Spotify playlist for every occasion, and spending time with her cats. When she’s not shelf-reading at the library, you can reach her on Instagram at @kayaorourke.
