I’m Queer, Can You Tell?
There is an invisible but obvious pressure on feminine queer women to look “gay enough”, or else be at risk of unwanted advances by men, or not be taken seriously by the queer community. When it comes to fashion, there are obvious tell-signs in the queer community that signal your sexuality. Certain standards of clothing, piercings, or overall demeanor lend a hand in “looking gay”, and if you don’t meet these standards, you somehow aren’t seen as queer in the same way a masc-presenting lesbian is. In an article, titled “There’s No Such Thing as Not Looking Gay Enough” from Pride, Rachel Lewis jokes, “If I didn’t wear flannel and beanies, how would girls know I wanted to hook up with them?” While funny to think about, that thought process is more common than some may think, especially for young women who are new to embracing their sexuality.
Image Courtesy: Instagram
When I first came out, I was fourteen years old and extremely girly and feminine. I remember most people did not believe me. The boys definitely didn’t. I felt unsure of my identity, merely because of the way I dressed and the things I liked. I did not like feeling like I had to prove my sexuality, to myself or others. Trying to take on a masculine persona to embody what I originally thought a lesbian should look like felt extremely inauthentic and bizarre to me. Once I got older and more comfortable in my skin, I realized that there should not be an issue about looking queer. You either are or you are not.
Image Courtesy: Instagram
Unfortunately, not everybody thinks like this. Especially in a small town in Florida, it can be dangerous in certain spaces to “look” queer. My girlfriend is more masculine-presenting and has many piercings and tattoos. She is stereotypically “gay-looking.” I notice when we take road trips through the south to visit parents how people talk to us differently and make faces. It is obvious to me, and probably to her, that there is such a thing as “looking” gay. The old guys in red hats and trucks who yell obscenities at us certainly think so.
There are online articles and threads entitled things like “Queer & Lesbian Fashion: How to Dress like a Lesbian” and “A Beginners Guide to Lesbian Style.” But what does that even mean? Obviously, there are certain staple pieces that queer women have claimed, like flannels and Doc Martens, but aren’t these just stereotypes? The amount of importance we place on our clothes has started to directly relate to our identities. Either subconsciously or consciously, we all make snap judgments about others based on their appearance. Part of these judgments, whether you realize it or not, are about sexuality.
A popular Instagram account, called @everylesbianandtheirfashion, does an amazing job of highlighting the fluidity of queer fashion without pushing stereotypes. In an interview with Vogue, the account owner, Marloes Leeuw, says, “The beauty of queerness is the ability to reject social norms and play in the liminality.”
Image Courtesy: Instagram
As we navigate the intersection of fashion and queerness, it's crucial to recognize that there is no one-size-fits-all approach to expressing oneself authentically. While certain fashion choices may be associated with queer culture, they should not define or limit how we choose to present ourselves. No one should feel pressured to conform to rigid standards of appearance or behavior to validate their sexuality. Instead, we should strive to create inclusive and accepting environments where individuals are free to explore and celebrate their identities without fear of being invalidated. Basically, what I’m trying to say is that I can wear whatever the hell I want.
Strike Out,
Indigo Carter
Saint Augustine
Editors: Maya Kayyal and Jessica Giraldo
Indigo Carter is a writer for Strike Magazine. She is an English major with a deranged love for Hello Kitty. You can reach her at @indigocarterr@gmail.com or on Instagram @prettypretty.princesss
