I love You, Bro.
I can attribute the foundation of one of my longest-lasting and enriching friendships to my appreciation for Minecraft. On the first day of fifth grade, I wasted no time finding another group of boys who played Minecraft, and we bonded quickly. Now, ten years later, I live with one of those guys I spent hours gaming with into the night. Admittedly, my method of making new friends hasn’t changed too much. Like most people, I tend to build new friendships by finding a shared interest and going from there. In recent years, however, I’ve noticed that many of my male friendships tend to not go much deeper than this. This isn’t something I’m alone in, either, as a study from the U.K. found that an increasing number of men are self-reporting a lack of social connection and intimacy within their male friendships.
In a separate study conducted by the American Enterprise Institute, a survey found that men are far less likely to have received emotional support from a male friend. It also found that women were twice as likely to tell their friends they love them than males do. In America, emotional intimacy is generally considered a gendered, feminine behavior. This gendered association with a basic human function results in “homohysteria;” the cultural fear of being perceived as gay due to being associated with femininity. According to researchers, American men express a great deal of apprehension towards physical and emotional intimacy between peers, and this is deeply influenced by social and cultural factors.
In their anthropology thesis, Alexandra Lamb examined platonic male relationships in old “buddy cop” television shows to explore what messages were being presented to the audience. Through her research, Lamb found that toxic, hypermasculine social norms made writers make their characters more masculine so they couldn’t be seen as gay. Some TV producers said that to make sure these male relationships couldn’t be seen as homoerotic, they expressed themselves through roughhousing and banter rather than emotional intimacy. This created and continues to promote an unhealthy model for platonic male relationships.
While this all sounds awful, Generation Z is making strides in dismantling toxic masculinity and redefining what it means to be a man. Through social media activism, advocacy, and genuine conversations, young men are challenging outdated gender tropes and embracing forms of masculinity. By fostering open communication, vulnerability, and empathy, we are paving the way for healthier and more authentic male friendships.
Writer: Mychael Allen-Fennessee
Copy Editor: Sarah Singleton
Chattanooga
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