We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve
For a while, I struggled with the idea of self-love. Accepting yourself for the good and the bad without feeling the urge to change who you are.
It was so incredibly rare for me to find someone I could be myself around- without the fear that if I showed too much of myself, I’d push them away, and they wouldn’t love me anymore. I felt as though my relationships were a ticking time bomb. I was constantly waiting in fear and anticipation for the other shoe to drop- either waiting until I discover a part of them I can’t overlook or waiting until they see what I find wrong with myself and discover that they agree.
Some say that to be loved is to be understood— but even when love is present, understanding takes time to grow.
Oftentimes, we don’t even fully understand ourselves and why we are the way we are, and the truth is we probably never will. But if we don’t attempt to reach that level of self-awareness, how can we expect others to? We have many assets apart from our capability to give and receive love, the good and the bad. We accept and even embrace all these things in the people we love, so why is it so difficult to do the same for ourselves?
Something that not enough people realize is how our mental health can be directly dependent on the way we view ourselves. Our self-perception shapes what we believe we are worthy of.
If we are blind to our pros and tied to our cons, we’re more likely to settle for less.
In other words, if we see ourselves as less than others, we’re more likely to settle for relationships that reinforce those beliefs. Even if they are unhealthy.
Your mindset reflects your perspective in the way that you perceive the world, and research shows that positive thinking can reprogram your subconscious and even help to alter this perspective. Doing things that prioritize yourself and your mental health, such as practicing meditation, affirmations, or even just setting aside time for self-care, can change how you view both yourself and the world around you.
By finding a way to love your inner self through and through, for all of your redeeming qualities and all your flaws, you’ll reach a certain level of peace and acceptance that nobody else could ever be able to show you. I’ve heard too many times my friends say that they feel like they give their love to the wrong people. But the reality is, you’ll never be comfortable expressing love if you don’t first independently express that love towards yourself.
The level to which you value yourself sets the standard for how people will value you. And if those people continue to give you the bare minimum, that alone says more about them than it ever could about you. We accept the love we think we deserve- but without acknowledging that we’re worthy of more, we’ll never be able to receive the love that we truly deserve.
“Your soul will never be fully nourished by anyone’s love but your own.”
If love has always been conditional, it’s easy to assume that’s just how it is, but it doesn’t have to be. You deserve a love that has no limitations or boundaries, a love that nurtures you, a love that only you can show yourself.
Strike Out,
Elise Archer
Boca Raton
Elise Archer is a Content Writer for Strike Magazine Boca. She loves being inspired almost as much as she loves inspiring others. She has a passion for everything creative- and she’s a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. If you can’t reach her, she’s either busy shopping, lost somewhere, or writing. But if you would like to: elisearcher111@gmail.com, or @elisearcherr on Instagram.
