Divine Belonging

Today I went outside with nothing but a bowl, a knife, and a mango. I sat on the porch of my childhood home and cut up this mango while watching birds flying to and from the birdbath in my backyard. I felt the heat seeping into my skin warming me from the outside, thawing away the chill of air conditioning and white noise.
It felt right. It felt right to be sitting in nature with nothing distracting me from my own thoughts. My mind was clear as I tasted the almost bittersweetness of a mango almost gone bad. It was refreshing to see where my mind would lead me without the consistent distraction of my phone or the tv. 

I caught myself rushing to finish and I thought “slow down.” This led me down a path in my mind. I started asking myself “Why am I in a rush? What do I have to do?” and I realized I had nothing I had to do. I wanted to go inside so I could check my phone, so I could scroll on Tik Tok, so I could send snap chats, so I could write this article before these thoughts left my mind. 

But I didn’t. I sat there and felt the sun on my skin, and I savored its sweet touch. 

This divine belonging comes in spurts. It comes on the drive home when I’m looking at the mountains. It comes when I am watching my friends laugh together only to realize that I’m laughing too. It comes when I’m in a drive-thru in the middle of the night talking shit with my friends about the hours prior. It comes at the most random times, that feeling of, “Oh, I am meant to be right here.” 

This sense of belonging is not something we can chase. Moments of belonging can be fleeting, but we as a people can learn to recognize and appreciate these feelings every day. This conversation of disconnection from society and feeling mentally detached even though we are constantly surrounded by others does not come from external factors; it comes from us. Society has lost the connection that we once had. The relationships we once built with our neighbors when we were kids riding bikes around the neighborhood don’t happen anymore. 

Society has replaced vulnerability for a series of staged BeReal posts. 

Strike Out,

Written by: Kushi Zaver

Edited by: Sarah Singleton

Graphic by: Rook Tilley