Dear Tinder Match: It’s Not Me, It’s You
It’s a chilly Thursday night, and my roommate, and I spend it sprawled on my bed, mindlessly swiping through Tinder. We chat about our days as we wade through a sea of 6’3; Pre-med; tryna match? Sometimes we turn our phones to share an attractive — or not-so attractive — profile, but as wonderful as these users may be in real life, the majority simply fail to impress.
Image Courtesy: Refinery 29
Conversations with male friends have repeatedly confirmed that, respectfully, men lack the slightest idea of how to sell themselves online. Guys that are kind and funny systematically characterize themselves as — again, respectfully — players and bores. Fortunately, us hopeless romantics believe redemption is possible for the male population (we have to, for your sake and ours). This quick and easy guide is intended for the fellas, but the four tips below will help anyone with thumbs spruce up their profile and spice up our swiping.
Remember the “first and last” rule
The serial position effect (thank you, AP Psych) is the human tendency to remember the first and last items in a list more often than those positioned in the middle. This effect also extends to, you guessed it, pictures in a dating profile. To harness the power of this psychological proclivity, place your best snap first and your second-best at the end of your profile. Ideally, these two photos should be well-lit, show your entire face and only feature you. This will ensure potential matches have a clear and flattering picture of you in their heads as they decide to swipe left or right.
Image Courtesy: Vogue
Keep it short and sweet, but not too short
There’s a delicate balance between revealing too little and sharing too much on dating apps. If you’re in the meager population of people who are hot enough to get away with only writing “University of Florida” in your bio, congratulations! Feel free to skip to the next step.
Image Courtesy: Refinery 29
If you’re like the rest of us mere mortals, it’s essential you give just enough away to pique your match’s interest without oversharing. Think: is your major and the fact that you’re looking for a “gym girl” really all you want to say? Let’s hope not. Instead, think of your bio as your “elevator pitch.”
It should be succinct and give a glimpse into who you are. Pick a question you would ask a match and answer it yourself. What do you like to do? What are your green flags? Get creative, showcase your personality and have fun with it — your future dates will thank you. If you have trouble coming up with things to say, apps like Hinge give you convenient prompts that are sure to inspire.
Say Cheese!
This should be obvious, but we’ll make it nice and clear, just in case: smile! The world of dating apps can be a scary place, so seeing your gorgeous grin will put potential matches at ease. Don’t be afraid to post a few of your favorite action shots, gym selfies and headshots (hey, sometimes a more serious look can be sexy).
As a rule of thumb, ask yourself: would you be OK with sending at least three of your photos to a family group chat? As it stands, probably not. So, chill out with the Snapchat filters. Put on a clean shirt. And, please, kick your buddies out of the shot; we’re tired of trying to figure out who you are and what you look like.
For the love of god, no dead animals
Boys, we’re begging you, enough hunting pictures. No, the gun doesn’t make you hotter; no, you posing with that deer doesn’t scream “boyfriend material.” We’d prefer to not see you in your dirty camouflage holding a dead thing. Unfortunately for all the fishermen reading this, yes, fish also count.
Image Courtesy: Refinery 29
If you love to hunt and are adamant about letting others know, feel free to say so in your bio. Posting pictures of your kills, however, is likely to scare away lots of potential matches. Believe it or not, there’s no need to demonstrate how big and strong you are. Instead, highlight other, more benign interests. You’ll likely come across as much more approachable if you promote hobbies like cooking, hiking or just about anything else.
If all this advice is making your head hurt, don’t fret too much. When in doubt, you can (and should) ask a trusted member of the preferred sex for their unbiased opinion. Although the truth may hurt, an outside perspective is likely to spark some ideas, especially when you know you want to spice up your profile but aren’t quite sure where to start.
These tips aren’t meant to encourage you to portray yourself as somebody you’re not. There’s a difference between marketing yourself in a way that complements your natural charm and constructing a persona to attract matches. As long as your profile ultimately reflects who you are and what you’re looking for, you’re golden. Once those matches start popping up in your DMs, remember to treat others with respect and always, always, make your intentions clear. Go forth, dear readers, and get lucky ;)
Strike Out,
Writer: Alexandra del Cañal
Editors: Kate Corcoran, Hannah Shelton
Gainesville
