Creating Isn’t Fun, To Have Created Is
On my first day of reporting class, my professor gave a speech about how traumatizing and taxing his class will be.
I sighed and rolled my eyes. I knew this. Five other journalism students told me. And I know writing isn’t easy. I just like it because it’s easier for me to do than most things.
“You don’t like to write,” he said.
“Wait, I don’t?” I thought.
“You like to have written.”
Mindlessly tapping my fingers against my keyboard, I hummed under my breath.
While my friends ventured into career paths full of math and science, I didn’t want to do the same because I wasn’t good at either. Knowing I had sacrificed a future of financial stability because of my weaknesses in those subjects, I grieved by picking up different creative hobbies like photography, videography, video editing, graphic design and writing, starting at age 13.
I enjoyed the frustration of not knowing what to do at first because I knew I’d have to figure it out at some point – something I couldn’t even force myself to feel in my math and biology classes. Learning new skills and seeing myself grow in just a few months was exhilarating.
Eventually, what was fun to me became a hassle. I learned all the basics, but now I felt burdened by the lack of ideas and talent. I didn’t like my work, and I easily and always found someone who was better than me. I decided to let go of these hobbies and delete all of my software in my senior year of high school.
Or so I thought.
My disdain for math and science triumphed over my fears of having competition and no inspiration, so I dedicated my undergraduate education to a creative endeavor known for its competitive and arduous nature: journalism.
After nights of utter frustration to the point of crying over how much I hated my work, I realized I had not been taking advantage of my strengths and weaknesses.
Here are three epiphanies I’ve had as a creative.
Image courtesy: Gratuit
1. It’s All About Failing
Creative people are picky. We’re almost never satisfied with what we make on the first try, and even if we are, someone out there always tells us otherwise. The pain of mistakes and rejection is something we wish to avoid, but it’s – unfortunately – the most productive way of making progress.
When was the last time you made something with little to no revision and it turned out to be the best thing you’ve ever made?
If you said “recently,” congratulations. I don’t care.
If it’s been a while – or never – think back to all of the times you’ve made something great but had to go back and make changes.
Whenever I take photos, I usually keep one or two photos out of the 200 I took. Whenever I edit videos, I sit there for hours doing and undoing effects. And when I’m satisfied, chances are, the file gets corrupted the minute after. Whenever I write, it takes me two or three drafts to finally get something good.
If I look back at every creative journey I’ve embarked on, I reached 100% success at the very end. Most of the time, it was 90% failure and 10% hope.
I understand if you can’t handle failure, though. It can be intense, and we do need our breaks from time to time. But, we shouldn’t let it be the basis for giving up.
I gave up my creative hobbies because of my fear of failure, but I always felt like a part of me was missing after doing so. I felt like nothing about me was special. I picked these little pastimes up again, and although I am nowhere near decent, I’m learning more about myself than ever.
Image courtesy: Mikhail Nilov
2. Help is Closer Than You Think
I used to never seek help with anything because I was used to being independent. I feared that I’d be a burden or that no one would help me if I did try to get help.
As university students, we take help for granted. Several people on our campus make a living out of helping people, and we have to make use of it.
When I felt like I was at the brink of failure with no chance of coming back up, I then reached out for help. I don’t recall a time where this decision didn’t end well. Maybe someone wasn’t of much help one time, but I never had anything to lose when I asked for assistance.
Even if your professor isn’t the kindest, other professors in your college are certainly willing to help. Even if your friends cannot help, look at clubs and organizations on your campus that may be helpful. Send them an email or a DM. If they don’t respond, don’t let that discourage you. Keep giving it all you got, and stay on the lookout for someone that may be useful. Someone will eventually show up.
Image courtesy: Karolina Grabowska
3. No One is Bad, and No One is the Best
A blank screen, page or canvas is as bad as it gets. Your head is empty, your passion is weak and your creative juices don’t seem to be pumping right now. This is normal, and these moments don’t define your abilities and your worth as a creative. You’re not bad at what you do.
I had my moments where I felt insecure about my abilities, and I became fixated on others’ abilities and achievements that I never appreciated my own.
People better than me are definitely out there, but I’m still just as worthy to do what I wish because no one is the best. Whoever I wish to be has someone they wish to be. It’s an endless cycle of unappreciation for oneself that we have to break, and it starts with you.
Don’t Strike Out Your Weaknesses
You’ve succeeded a lot, and you’re great at what you do. The journey full of failures is not something to enjoy, but it’s what gets you to the finish line. That is something you have to embrace, not try to erase.
As creatives, we often find little bliss in doing our job, which is full of trial and error. But we eventually feel fulfilled once we finish a project, and that’s not something you have to change.
So, if someone asks, “Do you like to create?” it doesn’t hurt to say yes, but you probably identify more with this answer: “We don’t like to create. We like to have created.”
Strike Out,
Writer: Zarin Ismail
Editor: Daniella Conde
Graphic: Larissa Aguiar
Gainesville
