Autobiographical Adolescence

I have zero intention to figure out the meaning of life in some carefully fashioned philosophical manner.

 It’s too hopeless

“My God- life! Who can understand even one little minute of it?”

“‘Don’t try,’ he said. ‘Just pretend you understand.’”

- Cat’s Cradle, Kurt Vonnegut

But I want knowledge. To sit in a speakeasy in a ’90s slinky dress talking about literary references from the books I’ve read. I want evenings with friends at 35 mm cinemas, followed by chess games at the dining table. To soak in the old and the new; to fill my life with the history and personality in antique stores. I’ve made it my life’s mission to know as much as possible. 

I’m trying to grasp an understanding of my own adolescence, so I took a page from High Fidelity’s very own Rob Gordon and his autobiographically organized record collection. Rob spends all of his time in his record shop and defines his life experiences through pressed vinyl and his affinity for music.

“Yep. Let me tell ya how I got from Deep Purple to Howlin’ Wolf in just 25 moods.

And, if I want to find the song “Landslide” by Fleetwood Mac,

I have to remember that I bought it for someone in the Fall of 1983 pile-

but didn't give it to them for personal reasons.”

- Rob Gordon, High Fidelity (2000)

Being freshly nineteen, I’ve compiled a look into myself at this stage in life in the form of multimedia pieces that make adolescence that much sweeter. Carefully picked and selected from the categories of books, music, and films.

Photo Courtesy: High Fidelity (2000)

Exhibit A: Literature

Nothing beats the simple pleasure of a mom and pop bookshop loaded with 1940s bound classics, and my luck just so had me run across a copy of Cat’s Cradle by Kurt Vonnegut. I’ve read plenty of classics, but I’m drawn to Vonnegut’s satirical language towards postmodernism and his quick witted liners about the desperate search for the meaning of life and how its discovery really makes no difference in the long run. 

“’No wonder kids grow up so crazy. A Cat’s Cradle is nothing but a bunch of X’s between somebody’s hands, and little kids look and look at all those X’s…’

‘And?’

‘No damn cat, and no damn cradle’”.

   - Cat’s Cradle, Kurt Vonnegut

A cat won’t appear in the tangles of the cradle and it won’t tell the truth of the universe. He summarizes the idea that the meaning of life isn’t universal; it isn’t something found in science and research, and it’s purely catered to the individual. It’s a rite of passage as a human being to want complete understanding of what everything means and why and how everything is in its place, but it’s made me realize that traditional philosophy is not my outlet. Vonnegut made it clear that there isn’t an overarching theme; the meaning is what you make it. 

Exhibit B: Music

It took significant narrowing to pick a song that fit the autobiography’s current position and mood. After careful consideration, no song fits the pedestal better than teen angst riddled “Life on Mars” by David Bowie. The first time I heard this song was at 2a.m. car ride with my older sister, and it just happened to queue. I’ve taken this (inarguably) musical genius with me from middle school to my current college sophomore year. It starts with a girl between the dispute of her parents on whether she stays or goes, leading her to escape to the “silver screen”. She tells the story of the film in detail, insinuating that this is a common escape for her she fully loses herself in. She loses the romanticism of the fantasy world and asks herself if there’s an alternate and more fulfilling “life on mars”. I’m taunted by my desire for more and the back and forth debate on whether it’s greedy or unbridled juvenescence. It paints the image and emotion of exasperation and not feeling quite in place or at home. 

Image Courtesy: YouTube

Exhibit C: Film

Almost Famous is an undoubted placeholder in my youth defining trilogy. The film is more than a dive into the glamor of a 1970s rock and roll band and an aspiring teenage journalist. It serves as a homage to the naive and immature teenagers working towards what they wanna be- specifically finding their voice through full immersion in media through writing. 

“One day you’ll be cool.”

-Anita Miller, Almost Famous

I’ve watched plenty of movies and shows about writers and their journeys to success, but nothing can match 15 year old William Miller and his ascent from Creem magazine to the front cover of the Rolling Stones. Even 22 years after its release, it serves as a catalyst towards my passion for journalism.

Image Courtesy: Youtube

I don’t crave the scholarly understanding of life but rather to learn and understand through inked paper stock, chord progressions, and flashing pictures. My shelves are scattered with books I may never get to, DVDs found in thrift stores, and albums waiting to be added in my intangible autobiography. To earn their respective places in my top three trilogy for ages 25, 35, or 55. 

“Books, records, films- these things matter. Call me shallow. It’s the f*cking truth”

- Rob Gordon, High Fidelity (2000)

Strike Out,

Writer: Jenna Weiss

Copy Editor: Reanna Haase

Content Editor: Melissa Donovan

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